EP 91 Moving From Brokenness to Purpose - Lisa Bain

Every day, no matter how bad the day, there's always a beautiful lesson in it that helps us. It's all part of that beautiful picture. Welcome to another episode of iRefresh. I'm delighted and I've been waiting for this moment with Lisa Bain. Welcome. Hi, I'm so excited to be here. It's so good to have you. Oh, Cheryl, thank you. So we ran into each other at a luncheon and I'm like, we started chatting. I'm like, we've got to get together. Now, she didn't know when she said, let's get together for coffee. I really meant her to get together right here in our studio. There you go. Well, this is pretty cool. It's a neat get-together. It's so fun. And this is an incredible display that we haven't had before. And it's actually, I think what we'll do, Lisa, for those who don't know, Lisa and I actually go way back to Oral Roberts University. Way back. So I was in the communications, that was my degree. Social work. Social work, okay. Okay. So we were on the campus together at the same time. Yeah, we were. I can't believe it. About 30 plus years? I'm telling you, it was a few years ago. So anyway, what was so cool to hear when I, it was, she's got this wonderful book. I just finished it. It's a quick read. And there's also a workbook that I forgot to bring up here. Actually, the workbook is with us here. And what I love about it too is it is her authenticity to be able to just share a what God has done. And you know what's great is you can tear the good and the bad and somewhere in between, but how God gets you through them all. Oh, absolutely. And that's what's the power. And that's where the book, what I like is instead of, some of you don't journal, like, I don't journal, I don't want to journal. I don't want to journal. But what I enjoy seeing that this book complements this is you have an opportunity to work through your stuff. And so she has a great, and you can explain it better as far as how you've devised this. Right. There's just little prompts. And it all started because of gratefulness. You know, gratefulness was a game changer for us. And the day we were diagnosed... we started writing a thank you journal to Jesus and everything we were grateful for. And it changed the worst days into bad days. And so we incorporated it. And at first, I didn't like to journal. So I know all of you who don't like to journal, I understand. But this has little prompts that kind of ask you questions of, you know, how you could, what are you grateful for? How are you grateful? So it kind of moves you along on the journey. So it's a great way where you don't have to put thought into it. You actually help to stir our thoughts up towards changing our whole outlook. Because sometimes there's days you don't think you have anything to be thankful for, but when you start, it can be your longest list. Oh, and you know, you talked about that in your book. So I thought, so you would understand more of what this is all about, I was going to highlight this, one of the things I wanted to pull out of her story. And for those who know anything about myself, is that my journey was, I refresh, was birthed out of my home going of my mother. The other thing, but the great thing about her journey that Lisa has is it was in the midst of your journey with your mother. Right, in one day, in one same day, my mom was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer, filled with it, said she had about five months left to live, and on the same day, I was told I had about the same gene my mom had with about four autoimmune diseases. The doctor looked at me and said, throw away your running shoes and call it a day. You're probably not gonna be walking in six months. And it was when I told my mom the news that she closed her eyes and I know how to powwow with the Lord, opened them up and said, honestly, this is just a hoot. We're gonna make this about giving, serving. And that's when we started the nonprofit that helps people walking through illness, special needs. And this is how this was all birthed with care packages and paying of bills and even just go sitting with people and animal therapy. Out of the darkest place of our life, she said, let's go treasure hunting, because out of the darkest place of your life, what you see is what you're looking for. And if you're looking for treasure in the darkest place, you'll find them. In fact, the party hats in this, we had party hats in every room because life is a party if you choose it to be a party. And so every room we went in, we were reminded, you know, today's a celebration. And you know, this is what I wanted to highlight, because that's exactly what I highlighted. I wanted to share in an excerpt of her book. So you can get her book. We will also have the links on that, but you can probably go to Amazon. It's on Amazon, and then you can go to our website. And your website, elisabain.com. Dot com. Okay. So what I love that your mother and you were talking through is that your real health benefits to giving was serving others. It lowers your blood pressure. You increase self-esteem, you lessen your depression, you lower your stress levels, and you help us live longer. And which, your mother did live longer. Yes, five years, not five months. Yes. Yes. And I'm still walking. Yes. You're telling her. And how many shoes have you gone through? Fifteen pairs of running shoes. They told me I would be throwing, I wouldn't be in them. Exactly. Yeah. I love it. We're still counting. But the thing that was so really special, and I literally, I was reading it one morning in my quiet time, and I started just boohooing over it, is the fact that their mission and their end together in bringing joy to people in crisis. in the midst of their crisis is when you chose joy. And what I loved about it, even it says, we silenced the noise of unimportant things and focused on the mission in front of us. You know, we're in a place in a world right now of complete noise. And when I saw that, I'm like, amen, quote it, silence the noise of unimportant. Mom used to always say, Lisa, if you're here and God's here, He didn't move. And usually it's the noise. It can be social media. It can be so many things that we don't realize are pulling us slightly away. And before we know it, we're listening to the noise and we've stopped. Because, you know, rest can be the greatest weapon of warfare. Because that's when we hear Jesus, when we stop and we're still and we get to hear his voice. Okay, so here is the story. I'm going to try to read part of it without crying. Okay. because this is what I wanted to highlight. And so it started out with this precious dog I named Mavis Pearl. And the original name was Fatina. Fatina. Was the name, but you gave a new name in honor of a special woman who worked in your childhood elementary school cafeteria. Okay. So the woman had cancer. Okay, so what I want to talk about that Mavis was her dog that was the easiest dog to train. Okay. But she was not a normal bulldog. No. And it was clear from the beginning that she was called to do great things. So the cool part where she, let me see if I can do this. You were getting ready to take the next step and put her into a dog therapy training when I got a phone call from a family whose little girl was in the last stages of cancer. So her mother had heard about Mavis and asked if you could bring her to sit with her daughter. So you wanted to dress Mavis up in a special way. knowing that the little girl took ballet. So you put this pink tutu and pulled it around the dog's waist. Perfect. I also had a little stuffed bulldog that I dressed up in a matching tutu, which I just think... I mean, can you visualize it? Oh my goodness. That is just adorable. So they arrived, and it was obvious the little girl was in her last hours. So... Lisa picked up Mavis, put her on the bed, and the girl moved her arm to touch the bulldog in the tutu. Her mother was standing nearby, and I gave the stuffed dog to her. She hugged me, and then she sat together until the girl took her last breath. She was hanging right to Mavis until that last moment. My dog sensed what was happening, and she fulfilled her role as a companion this girl needed in her last hours. I will never forget those moments, what Mavis Pearl gave the young girl as she took her last breath here on Earth. The mother hugged her again, held up the stuffed bulldog, tears streamed down her face like mine, and she told me as it would be a special reminder of those beautiful moments. This little stuffed dog needs to be part of the organization you're forming. And so Mavis was your ambassador for Join the Cause, that stuffed animal. And so there has been a shift, but it's such a precious, something significant to that precious girl that it just moved to have the tangible comfort of a dog. Right. And as we moved to Lisa Bain Ministries and Mavis passed away, Last year, a year ago, but that's when these little stuffed animals all began, when she said there's something about them. And every one of these dogs is prayed over. The bandanas are handmade, and they're loved on. And so those bandanas are here. Right, these little bandanas and the bows, and they're prayed over, and they just, she was right. Right. They became a big part of the ministry and are in every care box. In fact, as I leave today, we're going to be passing them out to some more patients and even nurses and those walking through a lot of really tough places. It's amazing what a little stuffed bulldog can do. Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference. Isn't it amazing? Truly. Just the way, like what a precious, like that's adorable Mabel is, but even just telling us about how has this happened because this is, you said, a contribution from multiple people as well. Lisa Bain Ministries is about care with connection. We love connection and, you know, serving. And mom, when she started this, knew that serving would give me a purpose. Serving was healing. In fact, serving got me out of one of the biggest depressions of my life, helping in a hospice. It just gives you healing and hope. And so it was through the ministry that we started to just serve. And this kind of all just came to pass. But the connection of everything, you know, youth groups pack these snack bags. They go to cancer patients. We've got spa bags with all kinds of amazing, really nice spa items. We've got a group that helps with those. Even little socks. We've got people that donate specific things. They donate bandanas. They donate the snacks. Yeah. And we love to put the information about the group that had a part in it. In fact, these cards, even the cards are all handmade by our volunteers. And even the cards are prayed over. And these are our quilting ladies, the Trinity Baptist quilting ladies. Oh, my goodness. These ladies hand make these beautiful quilts, pray over every time. And when you open this box... You are opening up, we call it a resilience care box because it literally gives you the hope to pull back, to be able to get back to that place of complete healing and hope. It's a box of connection. We always talk about broken to breakthrough, how you can walk through broken, but on the other side there's such breakthrough. And this represents people who have done exactly that. And they're serving and giving back to fill a box to give to someone to go through the same exact thing. That's powerful. And so those that are actually listening to our podcast, feel free to link up with us. We'll have it in show notes where you can take a look at our website at iRefresh or all our social medias. Because I want to make sure people see all the treasures, I mean, from jewelry to the hats, fun hats even. Looks like there's like books. I don't know if there are coloring books. Yeah, there's coloring books. We get requests and sometimes we'll tailor them to the need of the patient. But they're in chemo chairs. They want to color. They want things to do. So we try to tailor this. This is a breast cancer package that's going. So the thing that I hear, though, is it's about caring. It's loving people in the midst of the most hardest of times for them. Absolutely. It's finding that beautiful place in the most dark place. And I have found my purpose in life in the most dark places. What I thought was an accident and was just awful was a divine intervention. God used every broken place. And there were three major ones in my life. I would not be sitting here with you, Cheryl, had it not been for those really broken places. And I'm thankful for them. And I'm redefined because of them and walking in my healing because of them. Mom got the big picture in that 30-second pause. And she's the one that helped me just see the miracle of it all every day. But, you know, the thing I appreciate even reading in your book is... Yes, your folks were there and they were encouraging you with support and helping you to move yourself forward. But you made those choices. You allowed even friends to come around you and to be authentic with them. And that encouragement, which is really a powerful thing, is... that we can be authentic with those that are close and we can trust. And you know what? Sometimes there is repercussions when we do trust people. There is a cost sometimes. Right. But there's also a still worth of benefit. And I talk about that in the book because the last major broken place I walked through was a really heartbreaking betrayal, which led to Lisa Bay Ministries, but it was God-ordained. It's what he wanted. And it taught me to learn about authenticity in a new way and to really know if you are in a healthy, authentic group. Right. Because sometimes we think we are, but we aren't. And that transparency and that authenticity is so important because when you're in a group of loving, caring people, you're lifted up and you're able to step into your story. And that's what I was able to do in this last walking through that broken place. God showed me, Lisa, God. grab a hold of the arms of the people that are authentic and step into your story. I am here because your brokenness is someone else's manual for healing. Be raw, be real, let it out. My kids were like, you really told a lot about yourself in this book. And I'm like, but that's the way that it was. It's real. Well, you know, I mean, definitely you get to know who you are in a great way because I like it that you don't hide the fact that I went through this tragedy or this hardship. I went through these and I went through, and I'm curious because she mentioned she went through an autoimmune disease. Mm-hmm. Are you still living through that? Every day. But victoriously, I'm not on any medication. And it is literally, there's some days where I'll get up and my legs won't want to work. It is getting up and serving and doing for others. I can't tell you how many times I've thought, Lord, help. And he said, you just trust me and put one foot on the floor. And every day before my feet get on the floor, I'm like, let nothing today be an accident, Lord. you're in this and you just get through and it just works. And I'm almost glad in a way because I have to walk it out. It really does work. It's not like I'm saying, oh, you know, you can really walk this out if you're in a dark place. Autoimmune disease can be a dark hole. You don't look sick. And many people don't look sick. And many people are like, oh, come on, just get up, get out of that, just walk. You can't. But I can truly tell you that serving has been the most healing thing for me. And, you know, working with people in community and partnering and learning and sharing community is so important. And these partnerships and what you're doing, it's just healing. You know, Lisa, that's why I think it's interesting, too, that you're still in the process of serving. I'm in it. I will always be in process. Someone said, are you ever going to be unbroken? And I said, every day, it's a good thing. It's a miracle. But you know, I think it reminds me of Paul because Paul talked about the thorn in his flesh. And I really feel like You know, he said that he kept asking for God to remove it, but God did not remove that. And, you know, I think sometimes God knows us well enough to know, can we handle things to where we will always rely on him? And if our bent might be towards not, then he allows us to be reminded of our need of him in every moment. And that's where even when we started, I refreshed, I'm like, Laurie, Help me stay humble. You do not need to deal with pride in my life. That is just a waste of your time. So keep me in the place of humility. I just didn't know sometimes I would be humiliated to stay in that place. I'm like, Lord, I didn't pray that right. That's like praying for patience. Don't do that. Wow. I'm more cautious how I pray that. It's like, okay, I needed to reword that. But, you know, I think it's the great thing that your character of that you still do it, even in spite of the challenges when you wake up in the morning. Because the perspective that others might have of you when they see your pictures and imagery and you're always out there and you're always doing and you're giving and you're connecting, it's an assumed... And you didn't really even... Oh, and I've had people say, you never suffer a day in your life. But you didn't make it really clear that you were healed of it, but you didn't even say that it's a daily... It's a daily thing. So I just want to say that how huge is that is that she has to know that God's grace is sufficient for her every day. You know, I love, I've got Kintsugi pottery all over my house. I don't know if you're familiar with that, but it's a pottery that the Japanese artist takes and they break it and they fill it with gold, silver, or platinum. And the cracked filled pottery is more valuable than the one that's not broken. And I have them all over my house to remind me that those cracks are a container for God's glory. My weaknesses are his strengths. And I love it that they highlight the imperfections and they think they're beautiful. Yes. And I feel like that cracked pottery. And I know some days I told my husband, was I put in a blender? Because it's like, and he goes, well, that means you're all gold. Because you had to just pour all the gold there. So when we are weak, he is strong. He's the gold in the pottery, truly. Now, I would also, you came from a place where you remarried, and I know your husband, and I know that he has been a rock for you as well. A rock. And, you know, that is also key, though, is having the stability of having a husband who has supported you. But also, maybe you can speak to those who maybe have not been so fortunate, or maybe they're stuck in the place like you were at the time. Oh, well, it took a lot to get there. I went through a whole lot with a very unhealthy first marriage, and I talk about it in the book about everything that happened, and was a single mom for many years, and it was horrible. But I remember God asking me, Lisa, what do you want? As I was in the most broken place, and I wrote on Post-it notes what I wanted, and one of those was, Lord, I want a man of God to help raise my children. Yeah. And he said, then give me the brushes and let me paint this picture. And I gave him the brushes and he began to paint and he sent the most amazing man of God that just is such a part of this ministry And I never would have dreamed it because I was in such a dark place before thinking, Lord, do I even deserve this? And, you know, you were talking about authenticity. I lived behind a mask because you can hide your broken places and your vulnerability behind a mask. And it was him. He looked at me one day and he said, Lisa, I married you for you. You've got to take the mask off. I could not be the beaver cleaver mom anymore. It just wasn't working. And I just let down and it was Lisa. And it was the most freeing day of my life. Was that hard? I'm just curious because there's so many people... And even social media now wasn't like what it was then. I mean, it wasn't social media. Social media is a mask we hide behind. Right, because we give our better pictures. Right. And so our stories are through a different filter. They're through a different filter. And yes, it was hard at the beginning, but then it was just so freeing to know that I don't have to perform. This is me, and I know that I am just so loved by my Savior. Yes. And I knew that God had provided so many wonderful things that I was deserving of. I didn't think I was deserving of them. I had to realize and walk into that healing place that I was because one of my things I struggled with was a low self-esteem. And some of the most ugly wrapped gifts that we think are ugly packages, low self-esteem, cancer, I had a fear of speaking in public. I did. The irony. But he knew what was ahead and said, give me those things you think are ugly things. They're gifts. And in those was a nonprofit. You have to love you. You can't love anybody else if you don't love yourself. And he knew what was ahead. And so every day I ask God, is there something that I haven't opened that maybe I'm kind of fearful of? Oh, what's, you know? And, and what have I learned from today? Because, you know, the, the puzzle, the puzzle. I love the puzzle. Oh yeah. Yes. You're a father. Yeah. The puzzles and, and mommy. It's a great story about the puzzle. You have to read it. I'm not going to give it away. I will let you read about the puzzle, but all of the pieces are important. Right. And it's key in the order in which your father put it together. But I'll leave it at that. But it is true. And I think what's great is the different places where you've walked through is I really believe that people need to hear that even though you might feel like you have the mask up, you know, sometimes, though, some people need to do something to move themselves forward. because we can hide and be passive and sit behind, and we're waiting on God. And I think there's the other extreme that I think we need to address, too, is we're all different, but the idea that we're waiting for God to heal or waiting for God to bring my night shining armor. Like, I saw your movement in the book, that you were still moving forward. You were still doing things, even while you hear is what I was praying and hoping, believing for. Right. But you were still in a motion of movement. You weren't passive, and I'm waiting. Okay, God, I'm waiting. Because you know what happens when you're passive? Usually you get angry. Right. Oh, and then we get bitter. Angry and bitter. And the mood of bitterness gets in us. And then you're like moving back. And I remember, you know, hearing mommy so say, you know, choose joy. And sometimes joy can mean you're standing still. You're not moving backwards. You're standing still. But you're moving forward. And then another little mom-ism was serve, step out, see miracles. And I had someone say, but Lisa, she got it wrong. It's step out, serve, see miracles. Sometimes we're too broken and wounded to step out. We have to serve right where we are. And then God gives us little things to help us step out of that comfort zone. And before you know it, we're living outside of the box where the miracles are. But yes, even the smallest things, when I was in that really dark place, I had a joy jar. It kept me moving forward. I would pull it and do something that day for somebody else. And it would keep me moving forward and keep me out of that really depressed, dark hole that the enemy would love to get us in to isolate. Because once you isolate, then you're listening to all of those little negative tapes. So it's a dangerous place. It's a very dangerous place. So, you know, one of the things too, I would love you to speak to people that, or maybe they're in the place where they are isolated, they may feel alone, but maybe they either made the choice or they felt betrayed, things that you've spoken to. What could you share with people that have put themselves in a place of isolation? How can they get out of that place? You know, one of the things that we talked about being still and listening, many times when we're in that place, the messages that were going around in our head are just, mine were, you're fat, you're ugly, you're stupid. They were just, and when I stopped and I got into a quiet place and I was just, Jesus, you know, please speak to me. Let me hear your voice. I promise you, he will whisper. And it's sometimes that sweet, gentle voice that moves mountains and moves you forward. And then before you know it, you're a little bit more forward. And then you're out of the black, funky place. You know, it's I can't tell you, God always has me stop and rest and listen when I am in that really discouraged place. And he's never let me down. That's good. And it's powerful. And some of the momisms that you've highlighted some, I like, I'm like, oh, these are really good. Focus on the things that matter. Don't listen to the noise. Right. And I'm good at listening to the noise. If you're a giver, a server, and a doer, we're doing, we're doing. And it's easy. And especially with what's going on in the world today, there's so much noise. And to not listen to it and to daily focus on, God, what do you want for me to hear today? It's sometimes more of a daily difficult effort than other days. Oh, yeah. You know? Totally right. So that's good. Everybody has a purpose until their very last breath. Yes, everybody. And when we speak in schools, it's amazing how many kids don't know their purpose. And when they find it, it's a game changer. And, you know, highlighting, you know, the boxes that she has, which I love that she talks about a box, has a lot of similarities of life. She says every day comes bearing its own gift and tie the ribbon, you know, as she's, you know, has the boxes. But, you know, it's like God has given us a gift. And. It's for us so many gifts, so many promises from his word. But if we never unwrap, we will never identify what you've been speaking of. Right. Of the rest, the peace. Oh, yes. The comfort that he offers in the time, whatever you're walking through. Even in the, actually, if you're in a happy state or you're at peace and everything is well, I would really encourage you. It's still that time to go deep with the Lord. Oh, he'll reveal something every single time. Mm-hmm. And so you have to quiet the noise and distraction. Quiet the noise. And my last one here I said is God often uses your deepest pain as the launching pad for your deepest calling. Yep. And this, you know, the box that has all these treasures in it for someone to really, it's an incredible way to give life. It's life-giving. It's a comfort. But not just for the person you're going to be giving to today. The server. The giver, the creator. What a release. You know, when I see that we can give and we can release something, it's like an extension of heaven. It's like we get to be the hands and feet of Christ. Lisa, how can we help to activate other people, even in whatever walking? What could they do to get involved in walking alongside what you're doing? Oh, I tell you, if they wanted to help with our ministry, lisabain.com, but you can go next door. You can start in your neighborhood. In fact, I made a New Year's resolution to get to know my neighbors. I'd been there 20 years, and it's amazing the miracle stories that I've been able to give and help and serve. You know, the smallest acts can make the biggest difference, but we've got so many ways to get involved with the ministry because it's just as much for the giver as the recipient. That's why I'm still walking, because of the giving and the serving. And every person who had a part in this care box will tell you the same thing. It is life-giving to them to be able to give and serve and help each other. Even if it's just writing a card or sewing a pillow, it's huge. And so for those who are actually listening, there is a beautiful quilt, and that is from a group of women. Yes, the Trinity Baptist Quilting Ladies are our volunteers that make, oh, they've made thousands of quilts for us. Every tie is a prayer for the recipient, and they are the most precious ladies. I've got to give a shout-out to Anna, who's 99, and she will be on that quilting table tying those ties and praying. Oh, Miss Anna. I love these ladies. Yes. That is powerful. And then you have some jewelry as well. What's the story behind that? Oh, the story behind that is I had a Kintsugi necklace. It's Kintsugi pottery necklace. And I wanted this in every one of the boxes. And so the Lord just said, call the creator. And I found the creator. And little did I know, she was praying that God would open a door for her to be able to get her jewelry out. She planted a seed. It's just a huge miracle story. Even the Mabel dogs. When you're walking in your purpose and your calling, it doesn't matter the environment. God's going to make a way for it to be fulfilled. This is living proof. That's so powerful. Well, you know, I would like you just to share with our listeners, what would be something just for them to take home and just like to think through? And like, what do I need to do differently? Because I'm hearing Lisa and she has made an effort to walk out of your pain. And when you're lacking something to serve, how can you encourage those people that maybe they're in a place that they just need to be motivated or they're in a disappointed place? How do you help them move forward? I would say you are never, ever too broken for God to use your story. He loves to work with the cracked places in our lives. And I remember sitting in the floor feeling so completely broken and just saying, Jesus, I am so incredibly broken. And it was the day that I got so real before him, that was just a day of such healing and I felt that goal just be able to just permeate me. Because sometimes it's that, it feels like an elevator's going up too fast. You're in such a dark place you can hardly breathe, but Jesus is there and your story matters. Your story is a manual for someone going through something and he wants to use you. You have a calling. You have a purpose. And if the only thing you know to do is to just rest and say, Jesus, Jesus, I promise you, he will meet you right there in those cracked places. That's so powerful. Well, thank you, Lisa, for sharing. It's such an inspiration. I'm so grateful for what you're doing. And Ira Fresh is wanting to really link up with Lisa and her ministry and just getting the word out and, like, how can we learn to give and do it well in a way that makes an impact for eternal. For people, it just needs a little bit of love. And even Lisa said you can even go to your next-door neighbors and spread a little love with them. So we'd also like to be praying for you. If there's something you are actually walking through a hard time, Connect with us at irafresh.net. We'd love to pray with you. We actually, you can, we can arrange to have it, whether it's Zoom. You don't have to even be here in the Oklahoma area, but we will even Zoom call you and pray with you. We want to encourage you. So thank you, Lisa. Oh, thank you for having me. What an honor. What a joy. It's been fun. I've enjoyed it. So fun. Thank you. Thank you.