EP 85 How to Go Through Difficult Things and Do it Well - Julie Wilson

And the thing I found is when you go through difficult times, God gives you amazing grace. He doesn't give it to you before you need it. He gives it to you when you, but you have to watch for it. Welcome to another episode of iRefresh Ministries, where we're ordinary women who desire to do extraordinary things through the power of prayer and God's Word. I have with me a dear friend, Julie Wilson. Welcome. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. I am so delighted. You're a dear friend of Veronica Scott, one of our prayer team founders as well, and When we got to meet a while back, I'm like, what an amazing woman of God. And so I would love, why don't you tell us a little bit about who you are. Okay. And then we'll just get into an incredible story you were sharing with me. Okay. I'd love to. So I'm Julie Wilson, and I have been married to my husband, Jim, for 39 years. We have three sons. Two are married, and so I have two wonderful daughters-in-law. And then I have four grandchildren. And the things I really enjoy doing, I love to mentor young women. I have six mentees right now. My husband and I do a lot of marriage mentoring and have done some premarital counseling with couples. We love to share our experiences of how to have a healthy, happy marriage with young people as they're starting out. And I also work with speakers for Stonecroft Ministries and do events for them. that are basically an outreach to the unreached within reach. So, and I love to travel. Oh yes. We love to travel. You have some fun places you travel to. Yes. Yes. Yes. You and I were talking yesterday and we said that a lot of people in the past, especially in the past several years have gone through some very difficult, challenging experiences and, It's kind of like we are surprised when we go through those things, but the word says that we should not be surprised when we encounter many trials. Yes. And so because of that, you know that God has given us a way of doing it the right way. Right. That you can go through difficult things and do it well. And so I think that's one of the things that I've really learned in the past two years and that God has taught me is to how to go through difficult situations well. And so I've had two major experiences in my life. So the first occurred when I was about 26 years old and I had my first son. And we started out perfectly fine. And I took him in for a six-week well baby check. And when the doctor started to examine him, he said, I feel a mass in his stomach. And I remember thinking, I don't like the word mass. That doesn't sound good to me. And so it ended up that he did have cancer. And so, yes, a little six week old baby. I know. And I it was my first child. And so, yeah. So I had been a Christian since the time I was about 11. But that was my first real experience at trusting God for a long term situation. I mean, I could trust God for a test. You know what I mean? Little things. Right. But that was a big thing. And so I remember sitting in the hospital and thinking, you know, this isn't going to be over quickly. And that's what we want. When we're going through a difficult time, we want it over as quickly as possible. Next week at the latest. Right. That's right. And God answer it right now. And that's not what was going to happen. And so what God taught me in that was to walk with him every day. You know, it says, I'll give you your daily bread. Well, let's just stop. Food, it's everything you need for that day. Let me ask you, because so many people, they struggle with bad news, bad reports. Yes. In that moment, do you recall, how did you process that? Because you could choose fear. anxiety and anger towards God. Yeah. I mean, there's so many things, but what, what was it in how you were raised maybe, or what caused you to respond or react when you got that news? Well, you know, it's funny that you're asking me this because when I share my actual testimony, that's one of the things I talk about is you would think that my first reaction would be to just start to panic. or to be fearful, but I remember I had an overwhelming sense of peace that came over me, that God was right with me, and that he had not left me, and that he wasn't surprised by this. That's amazing. And I remember thinking, like, why did that happen? And the thing I found is when you go through difficult times, God gives you amazing grace. He doesn't give it to you before you need it. He gives it to you when, but you have to watch for it. And so I remember in that moment, sensing his peace stronger than I'd ever felt it in my entire life. And I thought, okay, I don't know what's going to happen, but God, I'm going to trust you through this. So we had about eight months of up and down. And I remember God speaking to me and saying, do you want to ride a roller coaster? Or would you like me to handle this? And because it's very easy to get on an emotional roller coaster when you go through, especially cancer, because you're living from one report to the next. You sometimes have to wait. I remember thinking, OK, my phone's going to ring and I'll find out if things are better or worse than they were before. And at that point, am I going to be a slave to that or am I just going to trust and leave it with the Lord and realize that no matter what it is, he already knows what it is and he has a plan. He's already ahead of me. And so anyhow, as it turns out, my son is now 35 years old, perfectly healthy. And, you know, we had several times we almost lost him. And I remember thinking to myself, in fact, I just was speaking with one of my mentees that's going through a difficult time right now with a child. And I said to her, you know, you almost have to go think, okay, if the worst happened, could I, would I be okay? And so once I did that and thought, you know what, if Josh doesn't make it, Will it be okay? Will God still be there? Will he still provide? Will he take care of me? And I knew in the core of my being, the answer to that was yes. So that was the time that fear, I lost all fear because I thought, you know what? I've already kind of mentally faced the worst possible situation and it's going to be okay. What a beautiful thing, though, that you, that was what you made that choice, that you started in that pathway at the very beginning. Yeah. And you didn't have to, because so many people go into panic mode or overwhelmed with the emotions that follow naturally because it's. Seems hopeless. It does, yes. And yet, what a reminder for us to know what is the promises of God. Right. Because God's word is powerful and effective when we speak into our circumstances and believe that his word is so true. That is so true. And you realize when you're in a situation like that how much the word of God brings comfort. And so, you know, at that point, once I decided that the worst possible thing that could happen is that Josh would go to be with Jesus. You know, I was OK with that. And I thought, you know what? I'm just going to live every day. I'm basically going to get up every morning and do what I can as his mother. I can't heal him. I can't. This is out of my control. And I will tell you, I am a control freak. I was going to say that's the hardest for people who like to be able to take what they're going to do. Oh, I can organize. I can do. I'm a CPA. Everything fits in the little columns and everything. This was not in my control and I knew it. And I could have been frustrated by that, but it does no good. So I'm just like, I just got to let it be. And so, but I will tell you in the midst of that, another thing I learned was to look up And look beyond me and what I was going through and what my family was going through and look around. Why am I here? God is not. He's not a mean God. He loves us. We have to understand he is nothing but good and loving. He cannot be anything else. So if he has me in this situation, there's a purpose. And it's probably beyond me. So what does he have me here for? So then I started thinking about all the nurses and the doctors, the other parents that had sick children in the hospital. Like, are these people that God wants me to reach while I'm here? Because I can speak to them now. A person may have empathy. Like if you go up and you're visiting somebody in the hospital and they've got a sick child, You can have empathy. But if you're sitting there with them, with your sick child, then you have some sort of, you're on the same playing field. You don't, I don't think you have to have a lot of dialogue because you already know when you're in that same place. Yeah. With the treatment or whatever you're walking through, the appointments. There's just that unspoken word of I feel and I know what you're walking through. Right. Which is such a powerful testimony because the way in which you operated was in faith and trust in God, which is like, what would you say to someone who? who's on the other side of that, and they would like to get to where you're at. Like, how would you encourage, you know, as you mentor people, how do you help them to shift that thought process? Because you're looking at it from the way God's perspective is. Yes. What is God's purpose in all things? He doesn't put it on us. No, no. But you're looking at God. It's the divine encounters that you're having. Like, you're going to meet the nurses, the doctors. Right. Which is so profound that we look beyond ourself. Oh, and that's such a freeing thing. When you are not focused on yourself, it frees you to actually be part of a miracle in somebody else's life, possibly. Right. And that gets you excited and kind of joining God in what he's already doing type of thing. Yes. But I actually have a six-year journal that I've kept. And basically, so for every day like today, I have 2015, 16, 17, all the way to 2022. And I write maybe two or three sentences about what I'm doing, what I'm praying about, what I'm concerned about. And when I look back every year at all the years and what was really bothering me at that time, I realize, you know what? That wasn't a big deal. God took care of that. Wow. And so that has given me so much more confidence to trust God, just that little exercise. And so I think it's a great place to start because a lot of times, and people think, well, I could never... keep with that or whatever, it's really not that difficult. Yeah, and when you say two sentences, that's manageable. Put that in my day planner. And you look back and you go, okay, I was really concerned about that. And look what God did. And so I think that's a really good tool for somebody. I think the more you really know God's character, Like instead of just knowing about God, but knowing his character and being able to trust his character. To me, that helps your default to be to trust God instead of to fear. And so I think for me, that has been something I have invested in reading God's word every day and spending time with him and getting to know him. And so when something happens and I think, wow, what is going on? That doesn't seem fair. That doesn't seem real or whatever. I can default back to know that God is he cares for me. He loves me and he's not going to put something on me that he's not going to quit me to go through. And so I think that to me is. And as we were up there at the hospital and started seeing other parents, it gave us a chance to model for them. Like they would see us waiting for a test and we would say, you know what? And you don't have to be weird about it. You know, you can let somebody eavesdrop in on your life without preaching at them. Right. And that's nobody wants preaching. No. Right. No. But they they don't they like to eavesdrop. And so you say, well, for me, I spend time with God and I pray and he's giving me peace. that I could never have on my own. And then it's like, can I be praying for your son or your daughter or whatever? And it's just, you know, that's kind of the way. That's really hopeful. Yeah. You know, when you know that someone will stand in with you for what you're believing for, I think saved or not saved. Yes. No, I agree. Which is an amazing experience. I remember walking up to a total stranger who was getting ready to check me out at a store, and she looked very heavy laden, and I just made a comment. I said, how are you? She said, well, I have to go back to see if I'm still cancer-free. And I just looked over, obviously, you're not going to be preaching, and I said, you know, I'm going to stand with you. I'm believing that you're cancer-free for good. And, you know, I didn't pray over her. I just... Our words are so powerful. Yes, you gave her hope. And it was speaking that life and faith in with her that it totally changed her countenance. I'm like, God, how good is it when you orchestrate our pathway to make sure that we can speak hope into someone's life? Yes. To look to him. Right. And then find, like, okay, I need to have that faith stirred up in me. Isn't it great how we can have that when other people can stir it up when we have those moments where we just have maybe had a rough day, but then we can have an appointment with someone unexpected. Right. And it'd be just the thing that they needed to receive. And we also get to be a recipient. Well, it's like Jesus said he was going to give us living water. And the thing that, I've been to the Dead Sea, and it's stagnant, you know, and A lot of times I think we as Christians, we fill ourselves up with God's word. We go to Bible studies. We listen and we feed, feed, feed. And if we are not actively giving out, we will get stagnant. That's true. And living water is supposed to be given out. Which is a representative of the Holy Spirit. That's right. That's right. Which means flow. Yes. River. And he is filling us every day. Not once a week, but every day with what we're going to need for that day. And then that gives us opportunities to start looking around at the lady at the grocery store that looks like she's downcast. And it's not hard to find people that are downcast right now. There are a lot of people that are really heavy right now. And so anyhow. I think it's powerful, too, because you said you had two different adventures. So share with them as well is... In your younger life as a mother dealing with it, but you also had to deal with it on the other side of your mother. Yes. So about 12 years ago, my mom started acting a little differently, and she even knew something was wrong, but we thought it was medication. And so we have never had Alzheimer's in our family. That wasn't on our radar. But... it became more and more apparent to me that she had something significant wrong. And after a lot of prodding, um, taking her to doctors, we, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Now my mom was a strong believer and stood on the word, um, did all that she could. And as she continued to decline, um, We had an opportunity as a family to decide how we were going to go through this. You know, we knew what it could be like. And we also realized that God was sending us into a very dark place to be a light. And so after a period of about four years, it became impossible for my dad to care for her in the home. And so we moved her into a facility. Well, as soon as we got in there, we got to know a lot of the people that were there and a lot of the families. And I will tell you that we had opportunities that we would never have had had my mother not had Alzheimer's. But that was a completely different thing where I was out of control because I didn't know from one day to the next who I was going to be seeing. Now, I will tell you that one of the things we prayed when my mom was diagnosed is that she would never dishonor herself or God. And we pray that the spirit of Jesus living in her would be stronger than the disease. And it was. Her spirit was at peace with Jesus. I know even when she couldn't speak, she didn't know who any of us were. She was never alone. unsettled. She never had the, I heard people say they have hallucinations. She never had any of that. She was at complete peace. So even though it was a very dreadful disease, God, the spirit of Jesus in her was stronger. And so... And people said, well, it's so sad. Were you just brokenhearted every time you'd see her? And the thing that I kept thinking was, God, this life is so short. And I will have eternity with her. And we will have so much fun together in eternity. So for this little clip of time, can we be used? Will you let? It's like God says, will you let me use you? right now for this little clip of time. And I will tell you, it was the most compelling experience to walk with her through that and to see Jesus every day in her and to know that our spirits were still connected. So it's beautiful. I remember having a very similar experience with my mom who had dementia. It's amazing how the power of the presence of God flows through our mothers. that he would raise them up, obviously, and they would get their healing on the other side of it. But it's the beautiful testimony of being intentional in those moments and cherishing them, even when it is most difficult. Yes. You know, I would love for you just to tell our listeners and just recapping, what is it you want them to take away just in the hard places that they're maybe going through right now, what can they just take hold of to reaffirm to them that God is present, he does hear them, and that he can trust, that you can trust? I can tell you, God loves you. He loves you. And he can be trusted. And even if you are in a terribly dark situation, it's not beyond hope. You will have hope that you can't explain. You will have peace. Joy is not happiness. Joy is coming from your relationship with God. And so what I would say to you is dig in closer. Dig in closer to God. Let him walk you through every minute. Not even every day. Every minute. When you feel like you're overwhelmed, He's standing there waiting to take the burden from you. He can't take it from you. You have to give it to him. So when you're overwhelmed and you feel like I can't do this, you're right. You can't. He wants to help us. And you can live an abundant life. And you can be a light and a witness for him. even more in a dark place than you can when you're having a great time. I mean, we can all be witnesses all the time. We'd rather be a witness. Exactly. But God will use you. Pick up your eyes, look around, and see where he's working and why he has you there. There's a purpose. Find the purpose and find the joy. That's amazing. That's so good. Find the purpose and the joy. You know, Julie, it's such a powerful message that you chose to trust God in the midst. And, you know, dear friends, we just want to encourage you that if you're struggling in that, please connect with us on iRefresh.net. We also have a community in iRefresh that you could reach out to us. Our heart is to pray for you. We also do personalized prayer. We can even Zoom call if you're not here in the Oklahoma area. Our heart for you is to ride the ways that God allows you. He didn't put it on you, but he will help you, guide you. He always gets us to the other side. We both have had experiences where we've walked through very hard times, both of us, with our mothers and other loved ones. And we can say that the word of God is true. He does not leave or forsake us. He's always present in the midst. And so one thing that I love that you've also said, Julie, is that you are in the Word daily. Mm-hmm. That's... And you know what? The thing you just said that I loved is about community. Put community around you. Put people around you that believe and will stand with you. Don't hang around negative people. Totally. Walk away. Yeah. You don't need any more negativity. No. No. So find people that have a strong faith and can stand with you and build community with you and walk you through this. Yeah, it's so important. So we're so grateful. Julie, thank you for coming and speaking with us. Oh, I've enjoyed it. Thank you for having me. What a great testimony. We're so grateful. So stay tuned for another episode. We are so glad that you are connected with us. Be sure to share this because it's a powerful way to help people be encouraged in their walk with the Lord.