EP 77 Finding Contentment - Carrie Kittinger

I think sometimes we're looking for the big things. We're looking for the big moments in life or the things that are going to fully satisfy us. Or just we're waiting for that next big moment sometimes. And really what it is, is that silence of going, what can I appreciate about this time of my life? We're so grateful to have you as our audience because I have Carrie Kittinger with me today. Thank you for coming. Oh, I love this. It's always a treat to be in this seat next to you, Cheryl, and conversing about what we love the best, the Lord. And we have gone back for years. You were my guinea pig. And we would literally go around the house and I would record you for a couple minutes. And I love those times we had together. And so you had a great word today. And I wanted us just to have that dialogue of the word and what God's putting on your heart to share. Yeah. Well, it's the word contentment. And I know that some people go contentment, but I'm going to start with the scripture because if it's up to me, it's going to just get off course. So I'm just going to start with the scripture, which is where I start best. So out of Philippians 4... And this is Paul speaking to the church in Philippi. And he said, I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need. I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in everything. any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want, I can do everything through him who gives me strength. So I love that that's one of the most quoted verses. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. But right before that, it talks about contentment. And I think it's also great that it says, Paul said, I've learned the secret of contentment. Because it's a learning. That's the focus. I think he was still in a process of learning. Yes. Yes. I have never arrived. Right. No. And I don't think until we see Jesus face to face, this is going to be an ongoing thing. But really, I think knowing that our contentment and our satisfaction can only be found in him alone. Yes. Right? Well, you know, I want to highlight that. If we find it in him first. Then all of the other things that we think are so important and what we're trying to find in other people, those can never really be satisfied. No, no. Until we first find it in Christ, which I love that you're highlighting that. Amen. Amen. And so it's always interesting to me, too, because I think sometimes we think, well, if I'm a Christian, I'm not. then my plate should always be full. My cup should be running over. And I think our, I'm glad these cups aren't running over. But I think our cup, what is our cup? Our cup is running over in the Lord, right? In his goodness and what he has to offer. You know, Cheryl, you and I love the Old Testament, right? Oh, I love it. Okay. So going back with the Israelites and the manna, I mean, God provided food from, you know, bread from heaven for them. Yes. Yes. They weren't satisfied. They were complaining, right? And I always think, well, if I was there, I'd be kind of grateful for this, but really. Or greedy. Right, or greedy. Because they wanted to get extra, make it maybe easier the next day. Yes. And then it would go spoiling. Oh my goodness. Yeah. So there's even the other part. Right. The greed or not content. And I think that's what Paul's saying here. He's learned how to be content. He's learned the secret, whether in plenty or in want. And we don't want to talk about, as believers, that sometimes we're in a time of need. It's not ungodly to have a need. Exactly. Right? And we can even still have our satisfaction, our contentment in the Lord in a time of trial. Right? You're right. Well, identify where was he at when he said that, though? Yeah. So so Paul, he was talking to the church there and he he was in a time of great need. And he said, I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you've renewed your concern for me. So basically he's like, you know, nobody's been concerned for me. There's a lot going on here. Right. And, you know, he was probably in prison at this time. I think you're right. And then indeed, he says, indeed, you've been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I'm not saying this because I'm in need for I've learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. So here, Paul, even in prison, he didn't. He said he wasn't in need. Right. Because but I think I would be in need if I were in prison to get out. Yeah. But he had learned that secret of that. Jesus was his contentment and his satisfaction. And so I think there's some things that I can still learn in this, Cheryl. I don't know about you. You're right, Carrie. But there's some things I can learn. And so one thing I'd like to talk about is it's not contentment is not complacency. That's great. Okay, because complacency, I looked it up. There we go. Complacency is unaware or uninformed self-satisfaction. So really, Paul's definition of contentment here is that he can do everything through Christ who gives him strength. So it's the focus on. On the Lord. Because I think sometimes whether we're in plenty or in want, sometimes when we have a lot, the focus gets on, look what I've done. Right. I've arrived. If you do these three steps, you too can be just like me, perfect in every way, right? Exactly. So I think that even takes humility to say, even in those times when we are maybe in a place of exaltation, that it's not about us. The contentment can't be there. The satisfaction can't be in that thing or that circumstance, but it's in the Lord. But, you know, we have to be reminded of that daily. Yes. Because you don't always realize, like when you're a first mother, you're a mother. You don't realize that you're selfish until you care for the child. You're like, wow. You're like, they demand my time. So my focus is not on me. It's on them. But it's a highlight. It helps me to realize I need to learn to release some of my looking at myself. And I know we're in an era of self-care, too. But I think there's also have to have a balance that we're so concerned about me, myself and I. And we do need to have that place. But I think when you talk about it, we balance it out by who do we go to to find that. And we're relying on God because when you refer to the manna. The manna was provided so it was daily so that they would have to go to him daily. Because God wanted what? He wanted a relationship with them. So God desires us to have a relationship with him. And he's not trying to be mean. He's like, but I know the plans I have for you. And if he knows those, he wants us to lean into him so that we can find contentment and recognize, even when it looks really bad, which we're in a day sometimes you're like, some days do not look like we just need to get through. Yeah. But when we can find our hope that God's going to deliver us, redeem, rescue us out of, that tells you, and you've referred to the Psalms before, those are such a highlight. Yes. Because sometimes the psalmist was like, how could you forsake me, God? Yes, yes. And all the gloom and doom, and just like the emotions of Paul. Right. And yet, at the end, it's yet, but I will praise you, God. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think even getting to this, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You know, parenting is hard. You talked about being a young mom. And it's wonderful as well. I mean, I didn't think I was selfish until I got married. Oh, that's true. And then I didn't think I was selfish until I had children, right? Oops, yeah. Still that way. I know. It's still that way. And then I... And I think, too, like learning the contentment in the season that we're in, Cheryl, because I don't know about you, but when I was younger, I thought, well, gosh, when I'm a little older and wiser and have a little more money, then this will happen. And then you get to that place and you're like, it doesn't feel like I thought it would. Well, okay, when I, you're looking, always looking to what can satisfy rather than being content. Yeah. Here with where the Lord has me. And Cheryl, I also love the verse that says, his mercies are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness. So just like that manna was fresh and new every day, his mercies are new every day. And I think what Paul is saying here, he needed God's mercy in the times of plenty. Mm-hmm. And in the times of want. And I think that contentment, it needs to be fresh each day, right? Because we think, okay, when I've arrived at this certain point in my life, then I'll be content. When I've arrived here, then I'll be happy. Or if I could just lose this amount of weight, then I'd have the perfect life or whatever it is. And really, it's saying, Lord, as I'm looking to you today, in this 24-hour time that you've given me. And don't you love that his time is not a 24-hour time? But we are, right? So in this 24-hour times that you've given me, Lord, I want my focus to be on what are you doing? Where do you have me? And I can find joy and contentment in him in my day. Well, you just pinpointed how you do it. Like, how do you find contentment? Because that was going to be my question. How do you find contentment when you're in a place where maybe you're going through some very difficult times and you're going through some very difficult times? Where is it that you can find the hope that I'm like, I can feel? And sometimes we get too caught up in the emotions. But how do you find that place to get re-centered and ask the Lord how to be in that position where we trust him? Yeah. That's good. And I think going back to our definition on complacency, it's that unaware or uninformed self-satisfaction. So anytime that I'm focused on self, I know anytime I'm focused on self, boy, that contentment meter is just right. Right. But when I'm when my focus is on the Lord and I know that that, again, it can sound cliche. But for me, focusing in on the Lord could just be I'm just driving and turning off the music, turning off the podcast. And I know those of you who are young moms or have fighting kids in the back. Maybe you need to keep those on. But sometimes getting quiet. Mm hmm. can almost help me just recenter and resettle and say, Lord, where are you in this moment? What can I be grateful for? What can my focus be on? Well, I think that's good even as friends to keep each other accountable. What is it we're doing so that, one, it also relieves some of the emotions that are attached to it because either it's anxiety, we get stressed out, we're exhausted. There's a lot of things that we can end up going to in a bad place emotionally. Right. And if we have children around us, we are exemplifying maybe bad behavior. So I like that what you're doing is being silent. There's sometimes you realize, like I took recently, I took a break or I went to a hotel for three days to turn the phone off. I think that you told me that. I was like, that is, that's awesome. I love that you did that. It was to be quiet. And it was. Was it hard at first? Not really. Because I think I was so overstimulated with so many things coming because you either have the phone and you have computer and you have people coming at you with needing something. That it was such a gift. I just felt like that I could hear the Lord then. There was nothing that was going to bombard that moment. It was just me and him. It almost got too quiet. I'm like, you are talking, aren't you? Do you have anything for me? But, you know, even just the exercise of being quiet. And if he wanted to talk, I was trying to make myself open to hearing. That's so good. I just finished a Bible study on Elijah, and the Bible talks about how the Lord was going to appear to Elijah. It was not in the strong wind. It was not in the earthquake, but it was in the silence. And so I think sometimes we're looking for the big things. We're looking for the big moments in life or the things that are going to fully satisfy us or just we're waiting for that next big moment sometimes. And really what it is, it's that silence of going, what can I appreciate about this time of my life? Don't you love a sleeping baby? The silence? Yes. I mean, even that. There's a cute. There's a cute. Yeah. But even those of you who are busy moms out there, going in and taking a peek at them when they're sleeping and they're not screaming no or whatever, asking for things, but just to kind of count our blessings in moments of quiet and solitude. And I love that Jesus showed us how to get away. He said he got away to the lonely places to hear from the Father. And that's where he got his strength. Right? And so as Paul's talking here about I can do all things through him who gives me strength. Well, Jesus found his strength a lot of times by getting alone with the Lord. And so I think you asked me. So for me, a lot of that takes place in times of quiet to just almost like bring the busyness to a stop. Right. Boy, when the kids were little, I would go in the powder bath and turn on the ceiling or the exhaust fan. You're right. to get a little time alone, right? Yes. So I think whatever it takes sometimes to just get centered and to get quiet and to turn our thoughts back onto the Lord. And there's always something to be grateful for or to find that contentment in as well. I agree. You know, I think when we create a pattern where we can find a place of silence, Not putting it on headphones. I mean, worship music can also, sometimes we need like a worship music that might help to quiet us down. Right. If we've had one of those days where anxiety or just the stress factor where we just need to quiet down. So I sometimes will put something on, but then it's time to be quiet. Yeah. And just the discipline to getting myself quiet, which would also help for the sleep mode, I think. Right, right. I haven't done that quite well. So I'm not sure if that's the whole answer. I mean, I think it's, you know, too, is I'm always asking God when I'm not sleeping, why would I not be sleeping? Is there something you need me to do? Because now I'm beyond tired. Right, right. But I think you're right. It's finding that place where you're always going back to him and asking him. Asking him the questions because he does want to answer. Yeah. And then, again, I think it's like when someone wants to lose weight and you go, there has to be a secret. There has to be something, a magic pill or just put on this suit that just burns off the calories. But really, it's eating less and exercising more. And so for me, in my Christian walk, I always think, okay, Lord, when I'm feeling dry, when I'm feeling discouraged, when I'm looking at others and thinking they have it better— OK, it's getting back to prayer and getting into God's word. And so for me, it could be just spending 10 minutes focusing in. And I love the epistles. I love the letters that were written to the churches because there's a lot of practical things in there. And so just just sometimes even just taking those moments in my day to get thoughts off of myself and say, Lord, what do you want to say to me? And really, for me, I find that in God's word. That's good. You know, it's doing that and even turning around the word as a prayer or turning that in because you said, you know, new every morning that we can say, talk about God. Thank you for your mercies. Thank you that each morning I rise up and I'm saved. And we turn the word into a praise and a worship to him. That's so good. also shifts our mindset. And then he is able to work in us and bring us to that place of that, that peace because of where Paul had to have been. It's amazing that he found contentment. Yes, absolutely. And I, and I think there's a, there's another story of Paul in, in, chains with Silas, remember? And they started praising and worshiping there in prison. And I think, okay, there wasn't a formula. They weren't saying, I'm going to do this so the chains will break. We know the end of the story. The chains broke, right? But there was something in them that there was a contentment and a satisfaction in who they were in the Lord that they just wanted to worship. I don't know about you, Cheryl, but if I was in shackles, I don't know that I would... The first thought may not be to worship. Yeah, I don't know. But you know, that was a key that you're saying too, is they weren't doing it on the condition of that. This will get me released. This will get me freedom. This will save me from being a martyr. You know, we have to find a place, no matter what happens, that we choose to serve the Lord. Yes. Even if life is difficult, that he will give us what? Grace. He will give us peace. And we just have to be an open vessel to receive the gifts and thank him for it. And know that we're going back to we have to continue to learn it. Yes. And because every stage we're going through, you feel like, oh, I've arrived. I got through that trial. Then there's something new. It's totally different. Yes. We have to go back and find contentment. So that's really good. I'm thinking I don't wear prescription glasses yet, but I do have the readers. And I just think even at different stages of our lives, we need that perspective shift. Right. And so there's times that you have, like my husband just had to go get his prescription changed. And. Like I had to bring these in order to read from God's word. And so sometimes I think too, like, Lord, shift my focus. Would you help me? Would you kind of put like heaven's glasses on me to be able to see this situation? Because again, we might think there's a one size fits all. And I think it, again, it's that morning by morning. It's his new mercy, his fresh mercy, his fresh infilling for us. But it's also like, Lord, give me your vision for this situation. Yeah. That's good. Well, thank you, Carrie. That has been a wonderful, something I'm going to be, I'm going to have to listen to this myself just to find that place of contentment. And I'm still learning too. Bring it together. Yes. Right? So we want you to also reach out to us at iRefresh.net. We have also a lot of different scriptures that will help to even guide you into places where you can take the scripture into a place of prayer and a thanksgiving. Thank you, Carrie, for sharing an incredible message with us. Anytime. Thank you for having me.