EP 72 Domino Effect Of Prayer - Hannah Pepin

I had a moment recently with God. I was on my morning walk, and I've never heard God's voice audibly. I've never heard Him. And I was kind of challenging with, Jesus, I want to hear you. And I felt like my spirit and my heart stopped and said, you do. Stop. And just look around, and I promise you're going to find things. Welcome to iRefresh, where we talk about the power of prayer in God's Word. Welcome to another episode with us where I have Hannah Pepin. Welcome. Thank you. I'm so glad because your mother-in-law was on one of our very first, a season one, which was Roberta Pepin, about her legacy of prayer. And so we're glad you're with us, and we wanted you to begin to share your story about prayer and how it's interrelated in so many avenues and chapters of your life. Mm-hmm. Well, thank you. Thank you for having me. This is such an honor. And yes, my mother-in-law went to be with Jesus in February, and it's been quite the year for us. She was an angel and a saint. I have the honor and privilege of being married to her 10th child. Yes, I said that right. Yes. 10 kids. 10 children. Yes. And she would have even had more. God just stopped her body. It was like literally she just went into that next season of life. And so, yeah, I'm so thankful she didn't stop at number nine or number three or number seven. You know, when many of us are like, okay. So I'm married to number 10. And even the fact that that podcast that she did was talking about the power of a prayerful legacy and what that leaves. And now that she has left this earth, that I am seeing in my own life, you know, the prayers that she prayed over her children, specifically her son, Mark, that I'm married to for over 11 years. I have that privilege. I'm that product of prayer. Like seeing what she, I know she prayed over him, you know, for his wife and that that's me. And now that we have a third baby on the way, so two kids, one on the way. Wonderful. Which is beautiful because I know Roberta prayed every child in. Yes. And so I think she's probably had some conversations with you regarding motherhood as well. Yes. Oh, yes. And, you know, many would look at her and say, oh, like only she could do it. She gave God the credit. And we would joke like, oh, forgive yourself. You did a lot too. Yeah. After I was done with my second, I have a boy and a girl, Daisy and Anderson. And I was done. My heart was full. She planted sweet little seeds about having more. And so it's really cool now to be carrying this. And it's a little girl. So the beauty of her passing this year and then a new little girl being brought. I hope she's just like her grandma. That's beautiful. Yeah, thank you. And yet, you know, with talking about children, you also have a miracle. And one of your children as well that I would love you to discuss with us. Yeah, yeah. So my daughter Daisy is 8. She'll be 9 in December. And I was 22 when I had her. So as a young mama, you know how as young moms, we think we know it all. We think we have it all figured out. Right. I soon realized how powerful prayer and the word of God and getting on your knees is that Daisy was born healthily. My pregnancy was great. And then within hours, we were told she didn't pass her newborn hearing screening and all the things that carried. It felt like that first test that we were told, I almost felt deaf with words of like, what? And they said, through a lot of appointments, profoundly deaf, would maybe never talk for sure, would maybe hear a gunshot is what we were told. So as a young mom, I sunk into depression and it was very, very hard to. But the word of God and prayer brought me through so much. And I see that my willingness to even go to the word and to go to prayer was because of the legacies before me that prayed over me that I saw the power. You know, it was like this domino effect, like, oh, I know this works. I know I've stuck sometimes and I know this is hard, but I've seen it work. So, yeah. It takes you through those valleys. Oh, totally. But your legacy is on both sides of your family. Yeah, yeah. Since you are part of a family that's been in the church, as your parents pastoring a church. Mm-hmm. So, but you chose to go to the Word. Yeah. Whereas there could have been other options. You could have... You could have questioned God, and maybe you did. I don't know. But yet, ultimately, just like the Psalms does, a lot of times it's like, why, God? Why did you choose this? But at the end, yet will I praise the Lord. As I've been reflecting just on my past almost nine years of being a mom, something with Daisy that I'm just so grateful that it did bring me to my knees. And I've thought a lot of Hannah in 1 Samuel when Eli saw her praying, and she said, I'm a troubled woman. I am downcast. I'm despair. I am sad. She's been barren watching all these other women. And Eli comes to her and says, are you drunk? And here she's in deep prayer that it kind of opened my eyes to this generation. It's not just a this generation thing because so many times us worn out mamas or single women waiting on their husbands, it's natural. Like, I'm just going to go have a night out with my girls. I'm going to just go. And sometimes it's justified. Like, yeah, girl, you deserve that. But I was reading recently in 1 Samuel and Hannah goes, no, I'm not drunk on, she says, wine or beer. I'm a troubled woman, but I'm seeking after my father. And I want more of Jesus. And I want his word. in my life. And I related to that in those moments that I'm like, I don't know anything else to do other than I need the word. I need Jesus. And it brought me through. It really did. I was lonely. Like I told you earlier, I could be in a room full of my family that I love and I'm close to and had that homesick feeling like a little kid feels on their first day of school. why do I feel like this, God? You know? So now, fast forward many years, Daisy, she wears a hearing aid, and she called it her hearing. We would call it like a little earring. She's confident. She's a sweet, compassionate soul, like just a sweetheart. And she talks clear. She's been in speech therapy since day one. I had the health department car that would come and do therapy, and it was humbling. You know, like she was in the health system right away, early intervention, which is awesome. But as a mom... That's a hard, you know, that's like, here's my little girl. And then you're going to put a hearing aid on her. Okay. Let's see how big we can put the bows to cover up the hearing aids. You know, like it was hard. It's protecting her identity. Totally. Because, you know, kids don't understand that. No. And you even shared with me and I saw a posting of her in her little cherry leading outfit. For her, you're trying to protect her. Absolutely. Because of people who don't know the story. Oh, totally. Totally. And now I've been her advocate and I will. And my husband has. And our family has rallied. But now... she literally has a voice that she can speak for herself. You know, seeing her in that cheer uniform and learning that five, six, seven, eight, and doing all that. My husband and I are like, she's counting on beat and she's doing these cheers. And, you know, so yeah, she's, she's our miracle. I say every child, my degrees in special education. So every child is a miracle and what they walk through. So it's cool to see the strengths that God does. And then my son Anderson, and now this baby girl, it's, It's amazing. And again, going back to prayer, it's the power of prayer. Right. You know, so. It's good because you had also other challenges with your siblings and what you were as you were growing up. What age bracket were you at when you were going through some family hardship as well? I was probably 14, 15. My brother started experimenting with alcohol and drugs. And it was... it was like a trickery that it started with, with him. And then it just went down and my mom has had the privilege to be right. She's on our first season. Yeah. Yeah. So you have to check out Lori both because that was a very moving story of just how all of you as a family came together when the most unexpected things have happened. And yet you pulled together, which is, I mean, it's a testimony in and of itself because it could be feeling embarrassment or shame or, surprised and shocked. They're like, no, not this family. But I love how you allowed yourself in that space. But that had to be hard at that age. Oh, totally. Because that's an important age as a woman. Yes, it was. It was hard. It was 10 years of his addiction and the way the enemy, I mean, he tried every single thing to tear our family apart, everything. Wow. through that. And it's cool. God's protected my heart. I've never once been bitter. I love my brother so much. And, you know, I saw, I saw the hand of the devil himself on my brother's life. And I knew without a doubt he wouldn't win. You know, I knew that in these moments they were terrible, terrible. And, you know, Now on the other side of it, you know, if we'll complain, they moved to Michigan and, you know, like, oh, I wish Jacob didn't look so far. But it's like, whoa, whoa, hold on. He's not shooting heroin up and we don't know. We don't have to wonder what bridge he's under. You know, like he's living. He loves Jesus and he's alive and he has a baby girl and a beautiful wife. But with all of that, because I had two younger brothers, I became strong for them. And then I dealt with post-traumatic stress of that once I had my own children. Did you? Okay. And that was part of the depression after having kiddos. My own was like… So you had postpartum depression with both children. Yes, I did. Yes. Wow. So… How did you maneuver in each one of those situations? Interestingly, both of them were, my brother had relapsed around the same time that I had my children. So it was very, yeah, it wasn't fun. And I think it hindered me from even wanting more for a while because I felt like, okay, after five years, when my son was five, I remember like, I'm just now breathing. So we're good. You know, we've got things together, but God redeems that. I'm so grateful for this one for sure. Oh, precious. Yeah. But truly family, even in that hard, even when he was doing awful, it was my close knit family and the word of God in our music. Like we talked about this the other day, we would come together and play a song, whether it was an old John Denver song or Michael W. Smith or just a worship song that we grew up singing. Music would bring us to the table and bring us back to each other. And we never gave up on my brother. You know, the hope was very thin. There was thin hope of like, I don't know if he's going to make it. But never, never gave up on that. And again, prayer. I just... But it's great when I hear music. And in prayer, because I was just listening to, again, someone was sharing about, too, the power of how God uses music. Because when King Saul was troubled in his spirit, what did he call for? Someone to come and play music. So David came and played an instrument to bring peace over him. And now when I'm hearing you're talking about how your siblings would come together with music. Yeah. Well, Mary, I tapped it on here, but you've kind of touched on it. Mary's song. You know, 13-year-old girl being told by an angel probably was a little scary. You know, you're pregnant. You haven't done anything to get pregnant. What does she do? She runs to her older cousin, Elizabeth. And it doesn't say Mary's prayer. It's Mary's song. In the Bible, it's Mary's song. Oh, that's good. And she sings unto the Lord. And I don't know about you. Even when you're excited to be pregnant, it's a bit of a shock. You're like... Whoa. You know, so I don't, I didn't sing, you know, when I, when I saw the two pink line or whatever, you know, blue pink, whatever color there that I was pregnant, it was like, okay. You know, so that her song, it was a song and to the Lord and it was a prophetic song for generations to generations to generations. Wow. And I love, too, that she went to her older cousin, you know, went to Elizabeth and shared that with her. Because how many times is it easy for us to go to someone in our same season that we're like, we need to talk about this. And then you're just going to tell me what I want to hear or you're not going to be good for me. She went to that older woman. And I'm a huge advocate. I love being with. I love being with my friends too, but I love gleaning from older women that can tell me, hey, honey, it's going to be okay. Or put your big girl panties on. Well, being bold enough to say the truth. That will help us to lovingly give us truth so that we go forward instead of backward. Because I don't think, even though we want somebody to be in our soapbox, Ultimately, it's not for our best. That is awesome. So music, so that's one of the things that's part of your life. Now, how do you balance it? You have two kids. You have a third one coming. You've been a teacher, and you're still teaching. But you also, music is actually a very big part of your family now. So how did God orchestrate that? First of all, I think when God gives you a dream and gives you a task, you don't have to worry about how it's going to work out. You know, you literally don't have to worry. You just have to do your part. So for the first seasons of our music, we've been doing about five years, you know, and it's still in very much groundwork. Like we're still driving ourselves, but you know, it's not like we have a tour bus or anything like that yet. But I remember God kind of showing me as, as my babies were little and I was still nursing my son and we're doing it. I'm like, I'm going to do crunching music. Yeah, right. Like this isn't going to happen. But I remember seeing dust on my baseboards and him saying, this is prep for that. I'm like, okay, Jesus. Or a stinky diaper that I'm having to change. You know, that I was prepping the ground for something big. And I still, you know, God's already exceeded our dreams. So if it stops here, thank you, Jesus. But God has given me the grace and given me the eyes to see the future, but also the now, like being, and you know, we, we were on the radio the other day and it was cool. It was amazing. It was a dream come true, but I was so in reality that was being in my car with my husband and my cousins and my best friends and my kids, you know, hanging on the seat and it was reality. So it wasn't like someone rolled out the red carpet and then I have to come back down and go see my kids at home. Like, I feel like he's helped ground me in reality that this is life and be in the moment now. Don't be so dreaming for this, that you forget where you are right now. Being present. Yeah, because real-life dreams come true every single day if we're open, like, look, God, God, this, today, you know, that kind of thing. It's daily provision. Yeah. Which I like, because I learned with even my husband talking about, if we look for God every day, we can find Him. Absolutely. If we're watching for Him. Absolutely. Because He is trying to communicate with us all the time. And through His being in His Word, how He will show us through other people even, how Like something special to say, hey, you're significant. I notice you. Right. And acknowledge, like, I'm in the midst even when we're going through hard times or those great moments. You had somebody to celebrate with you. Yeah. You know, when you're hearing yourself. And it's not a listening party. I'm not in some Nashville bougie room, you know. Yeah. radio. It's like, I'm in my Tahoe with my kid, you know? So that was cool. And you're right what your husband said. I had a moment recently with God. I was on my morning walk and I've never heard God's voice audibly. I've never heard him. And I was kind of challenging, like, Jesus, I want to hear you. Like, I want to know. And I felt like my spirit, my heart like stopped and said, You do like in Daisy responding when she hears a cop car drive by neighborhoods down, like, let's pray for that cop. That's a siren in the distance. And she's hearing that. And then in my son cracking jokes and being a boy, that's, that's the heart of God. That's, you know, so I felt like he was like, so many times we look for those big signs, like, God, I don't hear you or God, where are you? Like your husband said, stop, And just look around, and I promise you're going to find things. Well, it's being intentional to acknowledge when he's showing us his handiwork. It's those little moments that you don't know that God has actually protected you. If you went a different direction, even driving around, he's protecting you from potentially something that delays you or could harm you. And that goes along with prayer, that we choose to pray. It has to be a choice. Praying in the Word of God has to be a choice that God guide me in my depression, in this music endeavor, and being a mom and being a faithful wife. Like, God, I need your wisdom. And the wisdom comes in praying. It's in communication. It's in... prayer brings us together in union with, with God and then with others. Like we, we speak the same language because we're like-minded in faith and prayer. Like we can say certain words and we get it. Whereas if you meet someone that's not that way, you kind of have to navigate like, okay, we're, we're not on the same page, but we're going to figure this out. And then You pray for someone, you pray with someone, it's that wisdom that guides you. So kind of to answer your question previously, I don't feel like I answered that. I feel like prayer has guided me through navigating everything. And I don't do it perfect at all, at all. And that's, again, amazing. Thank you for prayer and for forgiveness and prayer. Like, Jesus, please forgive me. There's a couple things I think even it's important to reemphasize. There's a lot of things that you have gone through in different episodes where highs and lows. In those moments, some people will hear, oh, it's easy for you. But really, you had to make some choices. But really, I'd love for you to talk to our listeners and really help them to understand what you did, you decided when you were depressed, when you felt alone. Like, how did you get past the emotion? Because emotionally, I'm not. You could, like, I just want to go binge watch something, or I just want to forget about my troubles, I want to take a drink. Or what can you tell our listeners of how you made some choices that have propelled you to really thrive in the midst of hard times? Yeah. So most importantly, I feel like I made a choice. I can remember rocking Daisy, being in a rocking chair, and thinking, I have a choice right here to decide, am I going to push through this or am I going to stay down? And I cried out to Jesus. I mean, when I say cry, like I cried out to Jesus. And honestly, during that time, nothing had happened, but my marriage wasn't as strong as it is now. You know, we were so young, young parents. We just, we were still navigating things. So Jesus, yes, my husband is my rock and he's amazing, but Jesus was my core and he had to be. And I had to learn that, you know, I'm a daddy's girl, but daddy wasn't going to come to the rescue. You know, my husband... couldn't come to the rescue. It had to be Jesus. So I can even remember friends, kind of a friend of a friend offering, just go get a bottle of wine and take a bubble bath. You deserve it. And honestly, I probably did. I probably did deserve it, but I chose not to open that door for myself. And I chose reading the word of God. I had a sister-in-law that dropped off a burned CD of some praise or some worship, deep, intimate worship music. She said, Hannah, put this on, get headphones and lay in bed with this in your ears. Did I feel something supernatural in that moment? No, I didn't. And those right away, no, I thought this, this is hard. Why do people have children? And why, you know, like I was dark. I questioned things. Right. But I pushed through. I remember then putting praise music, like uppity praise music on, vacuuming with Daisy. And I would just, I'd be vacuuming. And I'm like, I'm going to sing. I'm going to smile. I'm going to do this. And it was my weapon to the enemy. Like, oh, this girl might be crazy, but she's not going to give in to what I'm tempting her with. See, that's powerful. So your praise is a weapon. Your prayer, it's a weapon against the emotions and what on the surface looks like it's not a good thing. Those are powerful tools that we have to recognize that we have to bring into a practice every day. And they're not easy. Like it's starting out in that when you're deep in something and you're having a hard time, that's not the easiest thing to do. But again, Hannah, Mary. Miriam, before she put Moses in a basket, she praised God. Here she's giving her little brother away. Esther, before she could have sacrificed her whole family, the whole heritage. And something about Esther's story that I love, and this is what I felt during those times. She had her uncle Mordecai and she went and said, I need you guys on my behalf to pray for me because I don't have it in me right now. And I've been in those moments where I've looked at my husband and said, I'm scared. I'm sad. You know, am I going to be okay? And I didn't feel it. My faith was tinier than a mustard seed, you know, but his faith, my parents that said, you're going to be okay, hon. We've got this. You're going to be okay. helped me through, helped me through so much. And that's what Esther did. That's so good. So, yeah. That's really good. You know, one of the things as we're wrapping up is, too, is we want people to know your music, it's country. And it's not Christian. Yeah. But it's great music. Country music. Thank you. That anybody can see. How would you tell people how to find you guys? Yeah. So we're on all music platforms. And I'm not the tech one. So my brothers, they help me through all that. So streaming on Spotify, iTunes, Google Play. All those things. Yeah. And we have a website. So yeah, you can listen to it. The website is? Bothmusic.com. V-O-T-H. Like both, not Voth, like moth. But we joke, if Voth sticks, then that's what's on, you know, people are like, that Voth band, they rock. And we're Voth. No, we're Voth, V-O-T-H. Yeah. It's wonderful music. I love this nice, clean country music that is just wonderful. It's uplifting. And so your story that you have with your legacy, both sides of the family, with prayer and you maneuvering through loneliness, yeah. depression and overcoming loss even in this year, and yet rebirthing, which is the beautiful, you know, the beauty of Roberta leaving this earth, but yet you're bringing forth the same year a new daughter coming. So I just love that. You know, one of the things we want to reach out to you as our listeners is if you have a need for prayer, Hannah has made it a really important fact of she joined with people to link up and encourage her in the Lord, to pray for her, to be able to sometimes be a sounding board, but sometimes she just knew she needed Christ. And if you're in that place, we just encourage you to reach out to us at iRefresh.net. We also have a community on our Facebook. It's iRefresh Community. link up with us. We love to be able to hear your voice, pray with you and encouraging you. And also go to their music. It's wonderful music. I know the family. They're amazing. A family of legacy. And I think that you will see that Hannah's got that incredible story in and of herself that she has overcome everything because she relied on God's Word and in prayer. Hannah, thank you so much for coming in and sharing your incredible story. Thank you for having me. And we look forward to seeing you the next time.