EP 64 How God is Intentional - Jenifer DeCastro

How are we embracing the swagger that comes with being the daughter of God? Do you have that ownership where you say, my dad's going to take care of this? We can do things on our own and they'll happen. Or we can wait for God's timing and then you stand in awe of his goodness. Welcome to iRefresh, where we talk about the power of prayer in God's word. Welcome to another episode of iRefresh. And I have my friend with me, Jennifer DiCastro. Good to have you here. Thank you. I appreciate the invitation. We have been focused on this season. I'm just talking about the power of God's word and also how it interrelates with prayer. And so I wanted you to be able just to have an opportunity to share how is it... that prayer and God's word is integrated in your life. And she is a, well, you've been a counselor, but now you do more like life coaching. Yes. And so I wanted to hear maybe if you have stories that would kind of show how God is highlighted to you, that power of prayer and God's word. Absolutely. I always have stories. Good. I was in ministry pretty much since I was 12. My imaginary friend when I was little was Jesus. So it was very shocking to me when I went to kindergarten and people didn't know Jesus. And as I walked out life fulfilling the call on my life, I had a theology degree from ORU. And I still felt like I wanted a little bit more, especially in my 40s when women are really saying, am I good with where I've been in life? Where do I want to go now? And it's a real time for ladies to recreate or celebrate where they've been. And I realized I wanted a little more... flexibility and a few more skills to go with pastoral counseling and to go with missions work and working with leaders and just women, especially who were trying to figure out who they were. And so I got my master's in human services counseling. And about eight months later, in the middle of COVID, I opened an office. Really? And it was the week before my daughter's wedding. So that's got to be the Lord, right? Because you don't just go the week before a wedding and open an office. Not really. And it was amazing. We can do things on our own and they'll happen. Or we can wait for God's timing and then you stand in awe of his goodness. And I said I wanted a gray office with yellow chairs. And when I decided to open my office, they had just painted the office gray. Wow. So then I went to a local store that had furniture who never discounts it. And when I got there, my daughter just sat immediately in a yellow chair. And the manager walked by and said, do you like that chair? And she said, yeah, can you give me both of them for $300? And he goes, sure. Really? Wait, what? So we put the yellow chairs in my car and went and put them in my gray office. And I turned to her and I said, do you see what happens when we wait on the Lord? When we trust his word, when we wait for his promises to be fulfilled, we get more than we ever imagined. My clients come in and they're not just women. I expected it to be middle-aged women, empty nesting, recreating. No, I've gotten clients across the board. And when they come in, I love to just immediately sit down and say, what are your beliefs? Who are you? Why are you? And we'll do personality tests and we'll do love languages and we'll do conflict styles. And we'll talk about why they make the decisions they make. If they're a believer, I immediately go into how does God demonstrate his love for you? How do you receive it? How do you give it? And it's just a reminder to them that they are children of God. Right. My dad owned a business and I had been in Honduras most of the summer and I flew into the West Coast and walked into my father's business. And when I walked in, he was at lunch and had my backpack, just got off the plane. And this guy came over and one of my dad's employees and he said something pretty inappropriate to me. And then he pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. Well, you don't smoke in my dad's business. And I said, hey, what was your name? And he told me and I said, you know, you should probably go pack your bags. Yeah. And he goes, what? And I said, pretty sure you're gonna lose your job today. My dad comes in, he's like, honey, you're here, you're here early, how are you? And I said, good. And he said to his employee, why are you getting your stuff out of your locker? And he goes, I'll let your daughter tell you. And he walked out the door and I turned to dad and I said, you were gonna fire him because of this, this and this. And he goes, you're right, I was. How are we embracing the swagger that comes with being the daughter of God? Do you have that ownership where you say, mm, my dad's gonna take care of this? Do you have that confidence If you love someone, you talk about them frequently. We've met for five minutes. I was talking about my kids. You know I love them. I saw your dogs out there. If we had any time together, I feel like you'd be saying something about them. Right, yes. So when we have our relationship with the Lord, what are the inside jokes? What are those caveats that are only for you? I was in my 30s, and I had had an incredibly bad couple days. It's unusual for me. I'm very positive. Mm-hmm. And I was sitting in Target in the changing room, and I said, Lord, are there any good people on this earth? Like, I am so disappointed in the human species right now. I said, can you please show me the one? Like, show me somebody who's good. I said, there are three things I wanna see. I wanna see somebody being loving. I wanna see somebody being kind. And I wanna see people being responsible. Can you just talk to me in threes, please? Well, as I walked out, there was a mom who was trying on an outfit with her daughter who was going to a dance. And her daughter was special needs. And she was just glowing because she had that time with her mom. And she looked adorable. And she looked at her mom and she said, Mom. What do you think? And her mom said, I can't believe how gorgeous you are. I love you so much. But more than that, I love your kindness. As she's talking to her, do you remember what I just said about love and kindness? Yes. Somebody had dropped something outside of the waiting room or changing room. And she went out and goes, oh, just a minute, mom. And she went out and picked up that lady's purse and handed it to her. Wow. She was kind. She was responsible. She was loving. And I said, see, Lord, you're talking to me in threes. I thank you. Thank you for that gift. It didn't just stop there, though. I went to check out. You know how much my bill was? $33.33. $33.33. You know, I went to go get gas in my car. You want to know how much it was? About the same. $23.33. Wow. So I was traveling out of town. I went to go to my hotel, and they were like, what room would you like? And I said, oh, I have this room on the second floor. And they go, you know what? We're going to move you to the third floor. Really? Of course you are. Of course you are. I love how God's so intentional. Yes. Because he's trying to read how we like to be spoken to. Mm-hmm. And he wants to honor that because of that relationship that you're talking about. And how he desires to be able to connect in the way that he's designed us to be. Yes. And you know what you do? It may be different than mine. I do. But if we all recognize that God is always communicating with us, if we just acknowledge it like you and then you see it. Yes. But you acknowledge it and recognize that he is talking your love language. Yeah. So I had a client in my office, a young teenage boy, and he was dealing with, you know, just anxiety and fear and things were just storage running rampant in his head. And I said, are you a believer? And he said, yeah. And I said, so are you fighting against these attacks on your mind? And he goes, well, I don't know. And I said, okay, that means to me you're not. Right. And I said, let me share with you out of Ephesians 6. We were not against flesh and blood. but against spiritual principalities. And I said, you're in a spiritual battle. And because you're the daughter or son of Christ, you have that authority that comes with it. And I told him my three story. And I said, I want you to go this week before I see you next. And I want you to tell me the special things the Lord's doing for you. And he goes, really? I think the Lord has other things to be doing. I said, I think he would love to show you how much he loves you. So he leaves and I had him on a Friday. On Sunday, my pastor spoke on Ephesians 6. So I text him and I go, okay, I don't know about you, but I feel like the Lord's reminding me to remind you that he loves you. He just said Ephesians 6. And he said, my pastor's speaking on that too. Really? I said, you're kidding me. So then we go back and we're texting all week because then Craig Rochelle was talking about Ephesians 6. He's at the store. Somebody has an Ephesians 6 t-shirt on. Seriously? And then the best thing is he said, I was walking and this lady just stopped and she goes, I don't know what you're fighting in your life, but I really feel like I need to speak Ephesians 6 over you. No way. And he goes, of course you do. Wow. He came in. That's huge. And said. This is awesome. Can he do that for everyone? Yes. The answer is yes. When we pray, when we believe, when we read the word, it is powerful. But sometimes we're forgetting to look. But we're not being intentional. Yeah. But you helped him to be intentional, like looking for God. My husband's taught me that same thing I've done is if you look for God, look for God every day and then watch for him. Because he'll show up just like you're saying, he'll show up in such a way that you begin to recognize his goodness and how he's showing you little like love notes in your day through people, through events that happen. And you start to see what God's favor looks like. Yeah. Another thing I found interesting since I opened my office, and I'd love your opinion on this. A lot of times we're told, you know, it's okay to have anger issues. So did Moses. It's okay to stutter at Moses dead. David committed adultery. So we are constantly reminded that God will be there in our time of weakness. This is true. Absolutely. A hundred percent true. Mm-hmm. But I wonder why we don't emphasize more of the scriptures and their strengths and gifts and callings. Deborah was wise. Anna was an intercessor. Esther was beautiful. Yeah. So when I get my clients in, I say, what are your strengths? What are your gifts? They don't know them, do they? Either they don't know them or they're afraid to say them. Right. Because then they'll sound prideful. Right. And we need to be meek and we need to be humble. Well, it's the way in which we say it, though. Because, you know, it's interesting you say that because I have been marking up. I've been reading through the message of Bible this year. And as I have highlighted, I have three different colors of pens or markers. When they would talk about it, I'd been reading about the life of David. Mm-hmm. And it was not just about David, how he was. And I always remembered how, like, the Benjamites were the smallest or whatever. So I've been paying attention. I've been reading through that. And then it was the 30 mighty men. Mm-hmm. that served David. And as each time as they talk through the storylines, I've been marking not so much as even their name is how they were classified, which is so right. And how David was preparing the temple. He knew he couldn't build it because God said he couldn't. But, intentionally God was showing all the things that he would gather. And he was very, so I feel like you're so right. The way in which God made sure that what was to be the anointed word of God, when it's put in there, it's not to bore us. It's like, what was he trying to say when he's talked about a person and how mighty, how strong? Yeah. I've been watching that in the last few days. It's so interesting you said that, about how we classified people that we don't ever talk about. We always talk about the main characters. Yes. But there are some side characters that God intentionally not just said their name and their lineage line, but it was also, there was a pinpoint, like he was one of the 30 men. And yes, was it Benaniah? Yes, he was one of the mighty men, but David assigned him to a certain role when it came time of the temple. So I think it's fascinating. It's so true. We need to be focusing on those kinds of things that the characters or the talents God gave us. Yeah. So when I have people who come into my office, what are your gifts and talents? How are you using them for your life, for your family, for your work, for the kingdom, for your community? How are you using your gifts? And can we acknowledge we have gifts? I don't need to beat down my people. We don't need to talk about our weaknesses. We make them up. But strengths, let's bring that out and let's serve the Lord. And also, when you're going through hardships, being reminded to pray, being reminded to let other people pray with you, being reminded that there's a plan and a purpose for you, even in the chaos, right? I love the story of Joseph because he knew he was destined for great things and everything he went through did not point to being destined for great things. Right. And we can talk about this was good. This was good. He had favor. He was second in the kingdom, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What strikes me is when his family came for food and he went through pieces of the story and then gave them the food. And he says this. I was created for such a time as this. Yes. The very family that sold him into slavery, the very family that said he was dead. Or tried to kill him. Yeah. Yes. Like that very family, he said, I went through all of this so I could be standing here right now to feed you. So I asked my clients, is there a chance you're going through this? So there's a moment where you are God's hands and feet, maybe even to the very person who's hurt you the most. And are you looking for it? That's a powerful tool because you're right. I think natural tendency is to get caught looking at the negative. Again, just like you're saying, we're not focusing on the negative. I mean, that's the natural inclination. But I think it's the other part is what is God really wanting to direct our thoughts towards? versus what they all come in doing. Yeah. I think it's powerful. One of my personal testimonies, when I was born, I was born with a very black and white, stubborn, focused, goal-oriented personality. I always told my mom that if I hadn't got saved and went into ministry, I might have been a sniper. Justice is very important to me. The Lord had to really walk me through some situations to teach me compassion, empathy, and sympathy. They weren't in my innate makeup. And I've looked at the last 30 years of adulting. And I am so thankful when the Lord reminds me of those moments I went through that were hard. Because I'm starting to get clients in my office that say, I know you probably never experienced this. And I go, oh, but I did. And it was for you. I understand what you're saying. Because this happened to me. And in those moments, did I enjoy it when my son was in the hospital and they said he may not make it through the week and we had no diagnosis and no idea what happened to him? And my cell phone had died and I had no money. And my husband was home with my daughter who had the flu, so he couldn't bring me food. And it was Thanksgiving week, so my whole church body was out and about. Nobody was answering the phones. And I'm holding an 18-month-old baby who they said, do whatever you can to keep him from crying because he's severely dehydrated. And we don't know what's going on. So sitting in that dark hospital room alone and hungry when I am friends with everybody and I am holding my son and just crying tears for him. I had no idea in that moment when I'm like, Lord, spare my son. Be in this room. Let us feel your presence. Give the doctors wisdom. I had no idea that I would be having a client just this year. So my son's 19. 17 years later, who's saying, my kid is sick and I don't know why. And I feel desperate and I feel alone. And I said, I know. I've been there. And God is good. It's interesting how God has used your past to help to have that emotion to understand what they're walking through. Yeah. You know, and God is so good that when he says he'll turn all things around for our good. Yes. But it also, it was never just about us, that he had an intention for us to always helping one another. Yeah. And as we're concluding, I would love for you to talk to our listeners and really to share with them your heart of how you want to encourage them, of how they need to look and recognize what God, how he sees them and what he wants to communicate back to them. All right. I refresh listeners. What I would say to you is don't be afraid to reach out when you're in those moments where you feel like you're alone, when you feel like you have no answers, when you feel like you don't know why you're even on this earth. Connect with prayer ministries. Let people pray for you. Connect with a life coach, a pastor, a counselor, a mentor in your area. You don't have to go through these things alone. You can reach out and there are people that the Lord will strategically put in your path to help you through these moments. We don't have to fight alone. So that would be the one message I want to convey. Reach out, talk about what's going on in your life, and let the Lord reveal to you some truths of His promises. Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing. And if you want to reach out at iRefresh.net, and we also have a Facebook community, iRefresh Community, we would love to connect with you. I want to encourage you. It's a wonderful group of women that just want to encourage each other in the word and feel what each other are going through. As well as people like Jennifer, we want to encourage you to even connect with people if you need that additional help. Connect with us by subscribing so you don't miss another episode. And so thank you, Jennifer, for sharing with us. You're so welcome. I enjoyed it tremendously.