EP 43 God's Faithfulness with Fertility Issues to Daughter's Type 1 Diabetes - Amy Calvert

After a decade of gathering women together for prayer, we are inspired to bring our words of encouragement to you. This is iRefresh. Welcome to iRefresh, where we empower ordinary women to do extraordinary things through the power of prayer and God's word. I'm Keri Kittinger and I'm here today with Cheryl Clare, who is the founder of iRefresh Ministries and Amy Calvert. And we are excited to talk to you today just about some different things that Amy has gone through and come out on the other side, but wants to share her story of just God's faithfulness to them in a difficult time. So Amy, give us some insight about maybe what you and your daughter went through that was a pivotal time in your family and has changed the course of your life. Right, right. Well, thank you so much for allowing me to be here. You know, sharing the story, the journey that we've gone through is something that God has really put on my heart, because if we can, I think I shared with you all earlier, if we can. save someone or give someone guidance that we didn't have then that is our overall goal and mission and then just also share what i've learned about god's faithfulness yes and through trials and tribulations but knowing that god always shows up so um so we went through a journey just to get our two daughters my husband and i had been married um several years And you know, you always think when you're ready to have kids, it's just gonna happen. And for us, it didn't. And through kind of our journey, we learned that I had fertility issues. And so we saw a specialist and through several in vitro attempts, finally, we're able to have our first daughter, Avery. And she was like amazing. And I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of a helicopter mom. God deals with me on. We've never been that way. No, no, no, no. I just did it straight up because there's just no hiding it. So Avery came along with such a blessing. you know, just began to live life. And through that, we kind of went through as a family, a lot of losses. And I lost my mother-in-law, my father, my father-in-law, and it was just, with all within just a few years, unexpectedly. But again, through all that process, God just really revealed his love and faithfulness to us. But let me tell you, I mean, we're human. It was a struggle. There were times God and I had some pretty hard talks about, you know, I grew up my entire life in a Christian home. But I would say I probably never had a real relationship with Jesus until I was in college. And I actually went to Oral Roberts University and went on a mission trip to Africa. And this all plays into my story over all over life. But while I was in Africa... God really revealed himself to me. I heard him speak directly. I saw miracles happen. You know, as an 18 year old, it changed my life. It was the first time I'd ever gone on an airplane. Wow. And here I went to South Africa. That's a long trip for the first time. Yeah. And this two months I spent overseas really showed me the amazement and the power of God. And it was there that I began to have this relationship with Jesus. So I talked to him just like I would talk to you. Right. And you know, you struggle, I think, growing up of, you know, how am I going to perform? How am I going to be the perfect this or that? And we kind of put that on ourselves, I think. At least I did. And God really revealed to me that he and I are going to have this one on one that works for Amy. You know, and it's how I follow and serve him and, you know, how I respond to him. And so through that entire journey, met my husband. We had, we had Avery face some, you know, hard things and then decided, um, through the in vitro, we had, um, a few embryos left that we wanted to use. And here I was knocking on 40 and. These days, as they refer to you, the geriatric pregnancy. Oh my goodness. Yeah. No way. Honestly? Yeah, absolutely. Wow. After like 38. I know. No, they literally would call you up as the geriatric pregnancy. Oh my goodness. I had never heard that. I almost think I was on the verge of that too. there also that, what is that, that test you have to drink that nasty stuff? Oh yeah, the glucose test. Oh, you just, oh, you pray like, Oh God, please. I just want to keep it down. Right. Right. You're like, that's the biggest, the struggle of just getting through that without like wanting to like, I need to go use the restroom because that's gagville. Yeah. Yeah. I just prayed, Lord, let me pass this. Yeah. Right. Oh yes. Yeah. Those little journeys that are big. Right. Right. Well, I remember our specialist called and And while the embryos don't expire, you're getting older. And I said, I feel that. Yes. Yes. And, you know, we believe that, you know, those embryos were life. And we believe that, you know, we wanted to see, you know, we knew God's plan was perfect. So if it happened, great. If not, then, you know, we have Avery. She's amazing. But through that, we ended up having Kenzie, who is my little firecracker. And- Every family needs a firecracker. Yeah, she's our little firecracker. And so I had had Kenzie, she was about three, four months old. And I went through a lot. After I had her, it was a pretty hard delivery. Ended up having- So there was not, I'm sorry, but there was not a challenge then, when you said you had her, it was not a problem? Well, um- Or did it take- No, so they did the in vitro and it took. Okay. Yeah, so they put in the last three embryos. And one of them took. Okay. So I still remember I was sitting in the ORU parking lot and my doctor called me at my OB and he was like, hey, how does a baby at 41 sound? Because I was gonna be turning 41 at the time. I was like, wow, is this possible? You know, now these days a lot of women are waiting longer and you're able to and you see it in Hollywood, you know, all the moms. And I love it, but for me, I mean, I say there's a reason God says do it when you're younger. It's the energy and the amount of time and stuff. But yeah, so we'd gone through the process and after the delivery had her and Like I said, it was, it was hard. Um, went through a lot of blood loss, ended up being in the ICU for awhile and had to have blood transfusions. And so all plays into a role where here I am about three, four months postpartum at having had her. And remind me what's the age gap with, with your girls. Avery was seven. Okay. And Kinsey was just born. So a little about seven and a half years age difference. Okay. Okay. And so, um, it was December of 2015. And, um, Kinsey was going on just about four and a half, five months. And I was still kind of recovering and I had gone back to work, but, um, just wasn't feeling myself, you know, still just kind of struggling. If you've anyone who's done in vitro or fertility, I'd been on a lot of fertility drugs for quite a while. your body's still adjusting. And let's just be real. Any mom who's had a baby, you know, your body is adjusting and we go through a lot. And you even told us ahead of time too, is some of the medicine, I did not realize how. Oh yeah, the harshness. How difficult. Yeah, one of the medicines that I was on, they actually used to treat men in the last stages of prostate cancer. Wow. But it's something, you know, and I am no doctor, but it's something that is able to hold the pregnancy because you're actually tricking your body into thinking, you're pregnant because you're not going the natural way. Wow. So there's a lot that you have to do even after you become pregnant, you still take fertility drugs throughout the first trimester, sometimes the second to hold the pregnancy, just because again, your body hasn't done it naturally. So you're having to kind of teach it on what to do. Wow. So we had had Kinsey and again, my mindset is what I'm trying to set up a little bit because it just, You know, my husband was great in that, you know, lots of tears or lots of, you know, just tiredness, you know, sleepless nights. And I noticed Avery had a cold. And again, that helicopter mom in me, it's like this child was never sick. So I thought, what's going on? And then I thought, oh, if she has a cold, I don't want the baby to get a cold. And so I was questioning a little bit, and my husband was just being reassuring, and that, you know, I think she's okay, no fever, and she's acting fine, playing. Right, right. But that mother's intuition sometimes, right? It was a gut check. And I truly believe that. We have that as mothers. That sometimes I think it's, I say a God check instead of a gut check, because it's a little bit of, hey, you might just wanna take note of this. So I remember it was a Friday, and we'd gone through the weekend, and it was a Sunday, and we were going to see Santa. at the mall to have our Santa pictures taken. And Avery always was so excited. And we got there and all she wanted to do was kind of lay on the floor because we were waiting in line. And I thought, something is just not right. And I remember again telling Chris, that's my husband, I said, you know, I just have this fear that something's wrong. And, you know, He would remind me we're not gonna let fear overtake things because you know, we had gone through several losses before we had children again. That's what played into the role of you finally get these kids you've wanted for so long. And then it's like, you know, you're just angst. And that was something again, God works with me on even today is the fear thing and just trusting and you know, Being reassured that we're in his care. And you know, I'm wondering too, and pausing of, you know, your husband reassuring you, knowing the difference about when you feel like the Holy Spirit's giving you that unction to know is it not necessarily a fear, but is it the prompting? And knowing when to really pause at that moment To say, okay, is this my normal just helicopter? Or do you feel fear because of your past? Or this is something we need to pray through and then literally seek maybe getting them checked. I think that's something that we as Christians too, we just have to be able to know of discerning. Right. Asking God for that leading. Okay, if that is fear, Lord, which I love that your husband is trying to encourage you. Right. I don't know, sometimes you're like, okay, fear or the Holy Spirit. Thank you, you know, and be able to go ahead and pursue it. Right. Right. And it is a struggle, you know, when you're a mom, you all realize that and stuff. So we got home, I remember that night, and Avery went to bed, and I remember laying in bed, and my husband, you know, we had been there a little bit, and so I was assuming, I guess he was asleep. But I heard a voice say, take Avery to the doctor. And I remember turning over and looking at my husband like, how would you say that? You know, and he was sound asleep. And I mean, it's like me talking to you. I heard this voice. And so I kind of paused for a moment and I heard it again. Clear, clear as anything. Take Avery to the doctor. So I remember talking because I do this a lot. And I'm like, okay, God, I've heard you and I'm taking you to the doctor tomorrow. I'm not crazy. And. And so that next morning I got up and I remember I had a meeting and I thought I'm just going to make it through this meeting and I texted our doctor and I am I do want to say his name because he's an amazing man to me. But it was Dr. Rayleigh and I texted him. I said, hey, and he knew me. It's just me again. I'm like, it's me. It's me. You know, Avery's got this cold. I think the baby made two, you know, he's like, you know what, bring him in. And he's amazing like that. He's like, you know what, let's just get you in. and we'll wipe out any worry. So I wrapped up my meeting, went home, because my mom was staying with the girls just until I could pick him up, and got Avery, who again, no fever, just this real tiredness and cold, kind of raspy, you know. Again, that time of the year, people were facing the flu, Um, you know, colds were going around. It's December. You know, your mind just goes to, this is norm. You know, nothing stood out to me. So we got to the doctor and I'm carrying Kenzie in and her, you know, carrier. I've got Avery I'm walking in. And I remember they ushered us back to a room pretty quickly. And, um, Dr. Really walked in. And he looked at Avery and kind of looked at me and then he walked out and I thought, well, that's kind of strange, you know? But didn't, again, didn't get much of it because I've got a baby that's crying. And next thing I know, the nurse was walking in with Dr. Rayleigh and she's like, you know what, I'm gonna take the baby. And I thought, huh, okay, this is interesting. And then Dr. Rayleigh walked back in the room and he kind of sat down with me and kind of pulled me aside and he said, I just wanna let you know, we've called an ambulance. He said, Avery is, I believe, type one diabetic. Wow. And I tear up a little bit just because I relive that moment. Yes. You know, and you hear those words and you're like, what? We don't have diabetics in our family. It's supposed to be a cold, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, no, you got the wrong kid. And I'm like, how would you even know that? You just looked at her. Right. And I remember telling him, no, no, she's not. He just said, Amy, I can smell it on her breath. It's a fruity smell. And he goes, her body is shutting down. He's like, we need to test her blood right now. And they brought in just a normal glucose meter reading, and it wouldn't even read, which means her sugars were over 500. And he said what she's in is called DKA, which is diabetic ketoacidosis, and her body is shutting down. And again, I'm like, what are you talking about? You know, my kid was just having breakfast. And I remember dialing my husband, and he worked outside of Tulsa in a while so at the time, And I was just screaming. I was like, Chris, they're calling an ambulance. Avery, we're going in. And he was just click and in the car. Right, right. And I remember the IMSA drivers walked in and with a stretcher and they loaded Avery up. And here my little seven year old is just like, what is going on? I'm scared. I've got a newborn baby. And I'm thinking, what are you doing to me, God? I mean, I cannot handle this. This is just too much. You tell me you're not going to give me more than I can handle, but you've gone overboard now. And I remember thinking that, but I had to process as a mom of reassuring her you're going to be okay. When I didn't believe, I didn't know. I didn't know if my kid was going to live or die. I didn't know what this diagnosis meant. And how has our life changed forever? You know, what does this mean? And so I remember rolling out and looking, and Avery was all excited because the Imsatruck happened to be pink. Oh. And her favorite color. And so all of a sudden, a little bit of her fear I could see went away, and I thought, kind of funny. Here I am still terrified. And you don't see many pink Imsatrucks. No. That was a gift from the Lord right there. Exactly. No, really. This was the step. That was so sweet. This was the second miracle God had done, and I'll walk through my miracles here. Okay. So the pink EMSA shows up, which was another miracle for us. Because that took some of the angst away from my little seven year old, who was asking me, am I gonna die mommy? And I didn't know what to say. And then we load into the back of this ambulance. And were you able to get in the ambulance with her? They had me crawl in with her. They handed me the baby. They strapped this in. Oh, my goodness. But Avery had immediately got her on IV drips and, you know, monitoring her because she started breathing pretty hard and panicking. And that's part of this DKA, again, that I didn't know. Again, I thought cold. Right. You know, presents much like any other thing. And the IMSA driver, I remember, took my hand, this lady. She was so nice. And she goes, Mom, I'm type one. You're going to be fine. Again, my third miracle. I was like, what? And she's like, you're going to be okay. You just need to take a deep breath and you're going to walk through this. She's like, I am 30 plus years old and I've had this since I was seven. And your kid's going to be all right. Wow. So I was like, okay. And your daughter was seven or eight? Seven. Seven. She was a month from turning eight. So even for this woman not to have just been diabetic, but then for her to have it at seven years old as well. And to be type one. Wow. And so she was talking to Avery saying, you know, I'm type one. They're going to walk you through. You're going to get some little neat thing. You know, just again reassuring. And I just remember at that moment thinking, okay, it's one more breath. You know, so we get to the hospital at St. Francis Children's Hospital. And as we pull up, I had texted my cousins were all nurses at St. Francis Children's. Wow. And they happened to be working that day and working the ICU. Exactly. No accident. No accident. And I'm like, you're working because their schedules are so crazy. She's like, Amy, we're here. We're running the ICU. We're here. We've got the call that Avery's headed in, and we're going to have her room ready. This is more than one cousin. Yeah. Two cousins. Oh, my word. They're sisters. Wow. Oh, my God. So we pull up. They're standing there. My husband had already made it from Owasso. He beat us, so I don't even want to know how fast he drove. And my mom and sister showed up. They took the baby for me, and they just, you know, praying, and everybody just praying. Yes. And gave me comfort again. And so they rolled us straight into the ICU because they knew – At this point, Avery's sugars were so high, and what they have to do, the problem is these kids slip into comas so quickly. And once they're in comas, the mortality rate is very high. And so they have to slowly bring their sugars down so they don't have strokes, so they don't have brain damage. Again, all the stuff I didn't know, but I remember them just sharing with me, you know, this is a serious situation, but we've seen this. We know how to handle this. You have to trust us. And the next thing I know, the head doctor for St. Francis walks in and it happens to be a girl that I babysat from the age of six on up and she runs. Oh my goodness. And she was on call that day. That is just unbelievable. Her name was Laura. She walked in, she hugged me and she said, you know what, I'm gonna be Avery's doctor. This is gonna be great. We're gonna take care of you. You're gonna get through this again. So hear all these miracles from Dr. Rayleigh within two minutes knowing that Avery had type one. to the pink IMSA, to the IMSA driver being type one, to my cousins being on call, having an ICU. Oh my goodness. We're ready for her with balloons and bears to where she thought it was kind of a party, you know. Wow. To the doctor being someone that I babysat and took care of. That is just absolutely incredible. It was like amazing just to know that. Strategic. Now at the time, my mind wasn't thinking, man, God's got this. My mind was thinking, what in the world is going on and why are you doing this to us? You know, I know that I haven't gone to church probably enough. I haven't prayed enough. I haven't been that person. But why are you doing this to my child? You know, do this to me. Don't do this to my kid. You know, that it does. It gets us when something happens with our kids. It's almost like, hey, I could handle something, but don't do that to my child. Right. Right. And it was just this. You know, overwhelming feeling. I remember just looking at my husband thinking, our life was over. I mean, I didn't know what, you know, I knew enough about type one only because we had, it was interesting, my cousin, who when he was 26, big athlete, he was diagnosed with type one, but he had managed it in a different way. And quietly, and he didn't live by me. Oh, so it was not severe like this. No, it was. It probably was, but as a guy who kind of, he was a big athlete, they were able to deal with things a little different. You know, sometimes people just don't share a lot of stuff. We didn't live by each other. So I knew he kind of had this, but I knew nothing of what it meant or what it meant to me as a mom of a little girl. And so we spent five days in the ICU and the day we were released, it took that long to get her sugars to come down within a range. that was safe to let her leave. And they immediately ushered us to a local endocrinologist who we spent five hours with, who taught us how to keep her alive. And they teach you about diabetes type one. What is it? And what it is we learned is, so we all have a pancreas and when you eat food, your pancreas shoots out insulin that breaks down your food and gives you energy to live. Well, a type one, their pancreas is dead. So it doesn't work. So when they eat, their body is just filled with this sugar and sugar and nothing is breaking it down. And it begins to react in a way that shuts all your organs down and they attack each other and they don't know how to survive. And so insulin contracts that. And so anything they eat or drink, they have to have a shot for. So for instance. So every time she eats, does she gets a shot before? Yes. In order to receive the food? Yeah. So we look at, it's what carbohydrates. A lot of people think diabetic, you look at the sugars. No, you look at the carbs. And didn't it used to be, I mean, I remember when I was growing up, it was the sugar. But they've come so far. And how they treat things. Because a lot of things, you know, it's just different how our foods are today. Right. And so you go off your carbs and your body is built. And they determined that Avery needed pretty much for every five carbs, she needed one unit of insulin. So they taught us how to. I can now look at a small apple and say, oh, that's about 30 carbs. So I know that Avery's gonna need about six units. And so you just begin to learn this process of anything that has a carb, you have to count. So your life does change. You have to learn. No, no. You have to break down everything to what equals a carb. And you're probably, honestly, I would imagine that you can't just go on a normal play date. Right. That's the hardest part. Right, I was going to say that would be hard. Especially for Avery. So we can't just go to a young kid's birthday party and her go swim, get out, eat the hamburgers or pizza and eat the cake. I have to attend pretty much everything with her. I usually call ahead to find out kind of what people are having. And you know, our big thing is, and our doctors really push this, is that you need to let her be a child and she needs to be able to live and experience life just like you did. It's hard sometimes because, you know, we steer away from certain foods just to, you help her body. Right. Just because we've learned what she reacts to and what maybe takes a longer time to cause her sugars to rise or that will bring her down and stuff. So you kind of adjust your life. But this has been four years for us. You know, this is not something that, you know, you walk out day one going, man. How am I going to do this? And I remember just looking at my husband saying, I don't know how people that don't have God and Jesus with them make it. Because it does alter everything. You know, you don't go out to eat. You don't feed your kid a normal breakfast in the morning without. calculating everything, and then to realize that one drop of insulin and maybe just a drop and a half could kill her, and we're making these decisions to keep her alive. And I have no medical degree. I mean, I'm like, why would I be trusted? But how do you, I mean, okay, so you said they educated you, but that's overwhelming to me. Five hours. It is. But that's overwhelming. Five hours, which it sounds like a lot of time for a doctor to take with you, but five hours for the rest of their life for you to be able to feel like, like you said, this little amount could make or break. Yeah, and that you're delivering a medicine that can kill them. I mean... You know, just, I shared something on one of my social medias the other day. It was just a normal spoon that you'd eat cereal with. And it was a little drop of insulin. And the one next to it pretty much looked the same. Just maybe a little bit more. And it was the difference between if Avery had this and this, this one would kill her. And that's how meticulous, that's how detailed and that can stir fear. I was just going to say that would be such a difficult thing because your, her life is in your hands daily. Like just to be able to eat. I'm not. I'm not. You know, but I just know what's great about that is going back to the very beginning of when you started to share what qualifies you is that you have the Holy Spirit within you. Yes. And that you've been gifted Avery as your daughter. And so for you to have that mother's intuition. So I would imagine trying to go, okay, is this fear? Or is this the Holy Spirit bringing to my attention what needs to happen here? And one other thing that you said, Amy, that really stuck with me, and I've had to learn this as well, but that God will never give us anything we can't handle. I wonder if he does so that we'll lean on him. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. Because He can handle everything. Yeah. But at the end of the day, I can't. Right. And probably if you were to admit, you can't either. But with the Lord. Yeah. And to think back on all the miracles that He provided for you. Right. All the miracles. And I'm just wondering, we probably need to have Amy back because there is just, I mean, this story could just, is just so deep and so intricate. I know that you've had some health challenges with your son. I've had some health challenges with my daughter, but nothing with what you've experienced. And I know that that fear could just grip But I'm just so amazed at how far you all have come with your family in these five years of learning Yeah, I mean it's you know people tell me all the time they're like man How do you how do you deal with this? I said you're not given a choice, right? You know, this is what you have to do and it's look type one a child with cancer a child with cystic fibrosis I mean, as parents, we all face these decisions that we have to make, the fears. But it's knowing and trusting, you know. Throughout all of this, I remember it was one night, you know, I just was wrestling with God. And I said, you know, I'm ticked at you. And I did. I had a conversation. I said, I'm mad. You know, I feel like we've done right in our life, but yet you've given me this. And where are you? You haven't been there. Look at all. And it was that moment I saw a flash before me and I saw Dr. Rayleigh within minutes, a pink IMSA. I saw the IMSA drive. And honestly, it was like this movie was playing out. And at the end he said, I never left you. I was there every moment with you. I had ordained every step to make sure Avery was going to thrive. And, you know, you have to trust and know that I love this child more than you do. Yes. And that I am going to keep her safe and secure. And, you know, when that fear comes, you've got to, you know, throw yourself on the throne and say, God, I cast all my cares upon you. Because today I can't handle it. And there's a lot of those conversations. You know, we have nights where you do everything right. And we have imps on standby. Because... Diabetes doesn't play fair, type one doesn't play fair. It doesn't matter if you do everything right, her body may react, it may become insulin resistant. So you're even saying, even if you know the pattern of foods and you know the dosage of what has to be, even at that, there's still variables where you still have, because I've watched you when we went out to eat not that long ago, I saw her on her phone and I'm like, you're looking at it and you're calling and you're telling her what she had to do. Right, so we're blessed in that Avery wears, it's called a CGM, a Dexcom. So my husband and I and our family can see her sugars in all ways, 24 seven, and we're able to view them. And so we know when she's trending high, we'll call her and say, let's give you some insulin. Or we know when she's trending low and I'll say, let's get a juice box, you know, let's get some sugar in us that gets you up a little bit because she doesn't feel her highs or lows that well as a child. We're blessed in having that. A lot of children don't have that. And it's been able to help us survive. And she does wear a pump also that delivers her insulin 24 seven. So she wears two devices. That's incredible. That she's constantly, you know, we just manage. and are able to live life and go about our life. And again, we try to remember that she's a child and she needs to enjoy her life and she needs to live life because we were given that opportunity and we tell Avery nothing can hold you back. And, you know, God's got big plans because he preserved your life. Yes. And he saved you. And he took care of you. And, man, how awesome is it to know that, you know, his plan is bigger than my plan. And it's taught me a lot. You know, when the phone rings, I have to fight the fear and say it's not going to be fear. I'm going to realize that, you know. God is in control. Amen. And it's been, he's been faithful in every step. Well, Amy, what I love is that you have these pictures now. And I think about in the Old Testament, how the Lord was always like, set up this stone of remembrance. And so you've got some stones of remembrance, you know. And those are those things that when those times of fear come in the night that we've all had. You know that you're able to replay that. And now as Avery is getting older, those are the stories that she's gonna be able to replay in her as well. And so. What a testimony. Yes, amen. And so I wish we could sit and talk for hours longer. I know, that's so. That is a problem of mine. I live this far. No, I think we all do. I think it would be great to even go to, we wanna continue this conversation with you guys. And I think one of the thing we find too, when we listen, all of us are tug of, as a parent, that we are so with you, Amy, on those struggles with our children when there's definitely a health issue. Actually, all of us, all three of us, can say we both, or all three of us have had something. It's been diabetes, it's been cancer, it's been broken bones, gluten-free lifestyle for my son. In the midst of that, we all have learned a place of trusting the Lord. We want to continue the dialogue with you. And so we would love you to subscribe and follow us and then leave comments. If you have questions for Amy, Carrie, or myself, we're going to continue this. We want to interact with you. And what are you facing? What have you gone through maybe with your son or daughter, a family member who you know, like, oh, yeah, my family member went through something like that. Or we're in the middle of it. And so we would love to hear from you as you follow and subscribe to our, go to iRefresh.net and connect with us. And be sure to share this with those that you know could relate to this message. Until then, go change your world.