EP 29 Losing over 150 Pounds with God's Help - Monette Matadi

After a decade of gathering women together for prayer, we are inspired to bring our words of encouragement to you. This is iRefresh. Welcome to our iRefresh podcast. We're ordinary women wanting to do extraordinary things for the kingdom of God through prayer, scripture, and encouragement. Today we're here with Monette Matadi, and she has an amazing testimony for us that I think will really encourage us. So tell me about your story. Thank you. I'm glad to be here. Thank you so much. I think I'm supposed to really just talk about this amazing journey that I've been on with the Lord since 2013. And I had eaten my way into morbid obesity at... 316 pounds and just for a visual aid, because I know sometimes it's hard to understand how overweight I was, but these were my pants. And not only were these my pants, but they were very tight on me. And so even when I get those pants out today, like I got them out to bring this morning, it was like, oh, my gosh, it's just so crazy. And I just laugh and giggle and just say, Jesus, look at what you've done and everything. So but my brother died from an obesity related condition. And I'm December of 2012. And he was 45 years old. He was only 13 months older than me. And God had been dealing with me about my weight. And I had gotten up to give a testimony at church when we lived in Georgia back in 2012. And I was up there talking about how God was the most important thing in my life. And I felt the Holy Spirit kind of prick me a little bit on the inside and say, Oh, really? It's pretty obvious that food has a very important role in your life as well. And so that was just the power of the Holy Spirit's sweet conviction that started planting seeds in my life. to bring that area of my life under the authority of Christ and to get some healing from that. So I I I like to say that I just came into agreement. with the Lord about the sin of my gluttony. Wow. And so he had already established that conviction in my heart. And so I needed to accept that it was a sin for me and to invite his Holy Spirit to convict me. And so I came into agreement with my sin, what the Lord call it, and then asked for the Holy Spirit to convict me. And so I literally did. said, Holy Spirit, please convict me of the sin of gluttony. Wow. Right. And grieve my spirit and grieve my soul the way that it grieves you when I choose food over you. And then I boldly kept praying and said, and bring Christian women into my life who will stand in agreement and not just tell me that it's okay. So God was so faithful to answer those prayers. And then I also said, and please give me the courage to pray this prayer when I wake up in the morning, because it was one of those desperate midnight prayers. You know, I think it's interesting that you're talking about this struggle. And I think it's something that a lot of people deal with, but we tend to minimize it. Because like you said, food is something we need, and it's very difficult to completely cut it out. You can't. For my own life, I know a lot of women who have struggled with that. And in my family, we never really had alcohol in the house. We didn't have drugs or anything, but food was the drug of choice. And so I've seen countless family members and friends who have really struggled with that. And I think it's very amazing to hear your perspective. Like I said, just inviting that conviction in, I think, is very brave. Like you said, that people have told you a lot of people don't want to do that because they don't want to admit that it's an issue. Right. And I think that the conviction came from pain. You know what I mean? And, like, I'd eaten myself into 316 pounds. But I also just want to stress that it doesn't matter whether it's, you know, a little weight or a lot of weight. But if it's consuming a whole lot of your thought life, You know, because even women, even women that you see that are normal sizes and you think they're so beautiful. I mean, we're all, I don't know, where do we learn like to compare ourselves? I'm like, we're supposed to measure up to something outside of ourselves other than who God says we are. And I, growing up, even as a young girl, I mean, in like elementary school and junior high, I've always been tall. I'm like 5'9", and so I'm, you know, taller than average for a woman or whatever. And my best friend was five foot tall, barely five foot tall. And I was comparing myself to her. I mean, you know, like how crazy. And she had blonde hair and blue eyes. I had, you know, really red curly hair. And I was 5'9". There was no way I was ever going to look like Katrina. And I just, I don't know where that, I got a, I don't know, another lie from the enemy that I picked up on. You know, that you need to look like that. And so for me today, I just want to be the best, you know, that I can be. Who God created me to be. And not compare myself, you know, to other women. And so today... I can actually, you know, think, oh, that woman is so pretty and all of that stuff and not be jealous or not feel inferior or whatever. Just I guess we call it just being we call it a lot in recovery, just being comfortable in our own skin. Yes. And that just comes from, like I said, just agreeing, coming into agreement with who Christ says I am. I don't have to figure it out. He already he already says it. He already knows. I just need to get into the word and plant that into my heart and allow those seeds to grow. Not the fear and the lies and the doubt from the enemy, but the truth from the Lord, you know. Yeah, I think you're spot on. I think it is an identity issue. We don't know who we are. We don't know what we're doing. And so for a lot of people, I think it's a coping mechanism. And we whether it's to lose weight or we're overeating, it's comfort at the end of the day. And if we're not getting that satisfaction and that comfort and contentment from the Lord, we're We run to other things, whether that's food, alcohol, anything else. It's definitely an issue that we need to get to the root of and asking God, what do you say about this? Who am I? Why? Why is this coming into play? And how can I change this? How can you help me walk through this? God did bring a woman in my life and another woman who had already been in my life for over 20 years. And I was standing in my kitchen in Georgia and not eating or anything, but I was just on the phone. I was in Georgia. She was back here in Tulsa. She had been in my life for over 20 years. And she had lost 80 pounds like 10 years before and had kept it off. So she was like an example in my life that God had given me. And so she said, Monette, she said, being overweight will not keep you out of heaven. But you will not go being obedient in that area of your life. Wow. It was like an arrow. It was like a dagger in my heart. And just a piercing arrow into my heart. And I was just so convicted. And I prayed to the Lord and I said, Jesus, you would held nothing from me on that cross. You bled it all out for me. You died for all of that. And please, I know I just I want to I want to be found being obedient in every area that I possibly can. So that's where my journey started. That's where the process started. And then when my brother did die, like I said, he was 45 and left behind three boys under the age of 14. On his autopsy, it says, you know, a condition associated associated with obesity as cause of death. And so I had a daughter at the time who was five, and that was just motivation for me to really just allow this to be brought under the authority of Jesus Christ and get healed from that once in all. Because just like so many people, I'd struggle with an unhealthy relationship with food my whole life. Wow. And I bet that must have been difficult to realize that I think so many times we justify things and say, oh, it's just a part of who I am. But you really had to say, this isn't God's best for me. This isn't his heart for me. And I need to give this up because it's getting in the way of my obedience and my relationship with him. Absolutely. And I think like just once you really do start experiencing the presence of the Lord and that really intimate relationship with Jesus, like he says, taste and see that the Lord is good. And it's like you want more and he really can. You know, there's nothing that he can't do. And I don't, it wasn't like, okay, God, I'm leaving this out of this. I'm leaving you away from this area of my life. It was just, I never even really thought about inviting him in. Wow. You know, I never, I just never really thought, you know, is this something that God cares about? But in Matthew and Luke, it talks about he's numbered the hairs on our head. And in Psalm, it talks about he's collected our tears on a bottle. Yeah. He's numbered our, and we're shedding right now as we speak. The number of hairs on our heads are changing, and he cares about that. He's collected and recorded every tear. So it's like, okay, God, I'm going to invite you in. If I believe that the Holy Spirit lives inside of me, which I do, And my body is a temple, then why not? I'm like, God, how do you want me to feed your temple? And I think for so many years, we're just jumping on all these different bandwagons. But God is my creator. And so it wasn't like an act of total disobedience, but it was just like I just never had thought about it. So it really, we were kind of talking about it was a change in mindset. Wow. So... In 2011 I found that book that Lisa Turchers wrote and it's called Made to Crave. I didn't start my journey until 2013 but that book really did start planting seeds about choosing food over God or whatever. She was a woman who probably had 10 or 15 pounds to lose but she got it and wrote a book about it. Of course she's very well known for other things. But that was kind of where the seeds started being planted of that. This really is, you know, this really is something that I need to get under the authority of Jesus Christ. And on the inside of that book, it's like October the 11th of 2011. I wrote that my weight was not just a physical issue, that it was a spiritual and emotional issue. And that there were things I felt like God had said to me, Monette, there are things that I want to do through you. that I cannot do as long as you have you know, this relationship with food. And it wasn't like he was gonna ask me to go climb Mount Everest, and so physically I'm not gonna be able to do that 300. He was like, no, I cannot, you know, you're not gonna be free. You're not gonna be free until you get this. And so that was, you know, I would be like, one more time I keep saying, I just came into agreement. I tend, like I said, I like to pray bold prayers, but sometimes my prayers can be really simple. And my quest and journey for the Lord, you know, really the intimacy that I've been able to experience with him, you know, for the last 10 years since age 40 just came from a simple prayer of God. Just, you know, help me fall in love with you more. And help me fall in love with your word. because I can't know the Lord without knowing his word. And so that is where, you know, just, and you know, taste like we talked about, taste and say, the Lord is good. You start tasting and experiencing him. That's what I hunger and thirst for now is him and his peace. His peace is so priceless to me. And I've told the Lord, I can go anywhere and I can do anything. I can't go without your peace. Because we've all gone through hard things. We've all gone through trying times. And I'm like, God, but I can't go without your peace. And I was like, I'm not going without you. And there's examples in the Bible where they're like, I'm not going without you, Lord. So I'm just one more time following the examples that were set before us in his word and everything. And so his peace is priceless to me. And to go back into any of my addictions, there's no peace in that for me. Am I capable of doing that? Yeah. If I get too far off the path, emotionally and spiritually, I'm capable of anything and everything. But I, you know, I come to where that he is my source. And so that is what I hunger and thirst for now and everything. So. So tell me about the root of this. When did this start? I was raised in a home where food was really what we call, I guess, our drug of choice. I was raised in a very strict Southern Baptist religious home, and we did not have drugs or alcohol. There was no drinking or any of that going on, but food was definitely something that was used in our home for comfort and for relationships and things like that. So I was born and raised in Alabama, so coming from the deep south, it was just very much a part of that. So that was modeled for me in my home. But as I what I did have to get down to the bottom of was that being sexually abused, you know, as a young girl and that that's really where I started using food for comfort and everything. So I've been clean and sober. I've been sober from alcohol and clean from prescription pain pills since September of 2009. So I had experienced other areas of addiction and unhealthy relationships with things outside of the Lord. But then I knew about the sexual abuse. It just wasn't really, it was like, yes, it happened and it was bad. But I never just allowed the Lord to really heal that. I never brought it out into his healing light. Now that I've done a lot of reading and stuff on it, I think it's very prevalent for women who have unhealthy relationships with food, whether it shows up as anorexia, bulimia, or just morbid obesity or whatever, that there's a lot of sexual abuse that stems from our childhood that we need to get healed. And then we can kind of start picking up healthier coping skills instead of outside substances and everything. So that was, yes, to heal from that was very, I took a year off and was single for a year back in 2015, 16. And that's when God really, even though I had already lost the weight, I think it was very, very important for me to go back and do that so that I didn't pick up food again. I had to go in and dress like what was I eating over? I wasn't obviously hungry all that time. Just like when I was drinking, I wasn't thirsty. I was eating and using to change how I felt. So I needed to bring that out into God's healing light. And, of course, he was always faithful. He was waiting. I just needed to allow him to have that. Well, congratulations on your sobriety. Thank you. It's amazing. Thank you. I'm curious. Was there a difference between the alcoholism and the food addiction? Did it feel like there was a difference? Or was it... Yes, because I was raised in a home like if you were drinking, if you drank like you were going to hell. That was just how and I know my mother was raised in an alcoholic home. So I know she just thought if we could, you know, fear, you know, instill that fear enough, then we'd stay away from it. But of course, it had the opposite. It led me to a lot of rebellion and wanting to go against, you know, how I was raised or whatever. So I am the difference with food is, you know, if I go out and hit three drive, three drive throughs in three hours, I don't have to check my rearview mirror for the police. They're not going to come pull me over and, you know, I'm not going to have my mug shot taken and, end up in county jail in an orange jumpsuit, you know, for overeating. So, and I believe that, but you know, the very first sin, what did the enemy used? It was food to tempt a woman. That's right. I mean, you know, and of course it was what the, what the fruit was going to withhold, you know, hold for her. But obviously, yeah, it was, you know, that has never been lost on me that the very first sin that food was used as the temptation. Yeah. I know the enemy wants to come and tempt us with everything he possibly can. So food is good. It's wonderful. It's a gift from the Lord. It's meant to be enjoyed. But just like so many other things in my life, I want to take it to excess and then overdo it. But, yes, I believe that I like that. And that's what I had to. I had to ask the Holy Spirit to convict me. Wow. Not just to minimize it and not just play along with what so many, you know, what my mindset of it's okay. It's not that big of a deal. As I grew closer to the Lord, my relationship with him was growing stronger. So that conviction was getting stronger. Wow. And I knew that the Lord loved me. But out of my love and respect and admiration and gratitude for him, I really, like I said, I really wanted to be found obedient in as many areas as I possibly can. So like I said at the beginning, I had to change my mindset. I had to call it a sin. I had to invite the pain and the conviction. And, you know, God was just faithful to do that. And then, you know, he placed women in my life, thankfully, who said, Yes, Mona, it is a sin. And you need to get this right with the Lord. I heard a quote once and it said bold prayers honor God. And I really think that to pray anything less is to diminish what he can do in our lives. So I really think that bold prayers are the way to get action and change and amazing. So through this conviction, how did that help your process of starting to do the things you needed to do to live healthier and get things in control? Well, we were living in Georgia. My husband was unemployed at the time. He'd been laid off. And so food, we had, I mean, like we had no, we had very little money. And I, my process was very simple. I do much better when things are simple for me. And so we didn't have money for, you know, pills or surgery or any kind of diet program or whatever. But I just started eliminating, I basically just ate low carb and, you know, ate a lot of protein and ate a lot of like low carb vegetables or whatever. Yeah. I ate when I was hungry. I stopped when I was full, you know, but I really I did eliminate things from my because I was so addicted to, you know, like sugar and carbs and just that junky stuff. And so I like I said, it had become a drug in my life. So I had to just like practice abstinence. Obviously, you can't do without food completely. And that's where boy, the power of the Holy Spirit really comes in because I'm having to sit down with my drug of choice and practice moderation. And so obviously I removed the substances like sugar and white flour and that kind of stuff that were really feeding that. and kind of detox from those things. And so it really, but God was so gracious, it really just became natural and how I preferred to eat. And so even in that year 2013, when I lost over 150 pounds, it was truly a miracle. I mean, God was like, and I tried to exercise. I used to be a compulsive exerciser and I started compulsively starting to exercise again. And then God just shut that down. He was like, you are not gonna do this. This is going to be all about me. So I get all the praise and I get all the glory. And so now we know exercise is good, but it was another thing I took to the extreme. It was the other thing I was being, I was obsessive and compulsive about. So I started going, you know, at 300 something pounds, I was pretty limited with what I could do, but I tried to go get on a stationary bike and for 30 minutes, well, the next day, guess what? You gotta do 45. Oh, the next day you need to do an hour. So it didn't take me long to start off on that little rat race in my head. And God kind of shut that down. And so what that tells me, is that, yes, if I exercise or I need to move my body, that's good, but it's not an excuse. He removed that as an excuse of, oh, well, I can't lose weight because I can't go to the gym or I can't work out or I have this. There's so many excuses, but God is above and beyond all of those excuses. And obviously, if he calls me to do something, calls us to do something, he's going to equip us and give us the tools we need to be successful, you know, for his honor and his glory. Yes. I went on my first night when I was 15. And I was 43 when I started this journey with the Lord. And so he really did want it to be all about him. And I wanted it, too. That was the only way it was going to be sustainable and permanent, you know, was for him to be the author and perfecter and the sustainer of it. And he has. Yeah. So amazing. Yeah. yeah yeah i really like what you said that it was a process but you called it a miracle and i think oftentimes we want something drastic in our lives and we want to wake up and things be fixed but the fact that you called a miracle the process of being faithful and trusting god to help you figure out a new way to do that is really a unique perspective that we don't hear often right I think processes become like a four letter word and we want everything so quickly. And God, yes, he could have done that. Just like there's so many things that he, you know, he gets to choose whether he does something quickly or whether he does something suddenly. I needed there was so much there was healing that needed to take place, not just physically, but there was emotional and mental and spiritual healing that needed to take place in my life. I'd been thin plenty of times before and even, you know, much, you know, quite a bit smaller than I am now. But it wasn't I was still had the mindset that food was still idle. You know, it was still about how I look. And we were talking about earlier about the comparison being a joy killer. You know, I don't come. I the more that I come into agreement with who God says I am and my identity in Christ, I'm not walking into a room comparing myself to anyone else. Yeah. who's thinner, who's prettier, who has on the better clothes or whatever. I don't watch a lot of TV or read magazines unless it's football. So I get spared a whole lot of that. And that has been helpful to me that I just don't compare myself. You know, I. And there are things about my body that, yeah, I could probably tone up my arms a little bit, but it's like, you know, I don't complain or criticize myself because I'm not doing anything to change it. So if I'm not changing something, I'm choosing it. So I can't, you know, so I try not to complain about things. I'm not trying to change or asking the Lord to change because obviously I'm choosing it. But I will tell you to have lost that amount of weight for God just to release. It was like 150 pounds of disobedient flesh is what I call it. Wow. 150 pounds of disobedient flesh is what the Lord removed from me in 2013. I have very, very minimal, you know, loose skin. That is a miracle of God's grace and everything. I mean, and I don't know how to explain it, but I guess that's why we call it a miracle and we call it God. So I did get a miracle. Mm-hmm. And I get to live in that miracle every day. Because even getting up and getting dressed to come here and then finding those, you know, those pants. I'm like, really, God? Look at you. Look at what you've done. You know? So. So, yeah, my tears of gratitude are still very, very frequent, even though it's been seven years. And I just know that because I struggled with it for so many years of my life. And I thought it was normal. I thought it was natural. I'm always going to be on diet. I'm always going to be watching what I eat. I'm always going to be obsessing about it. And Christ is like, no, I died for that. I don't have because I remember I used to say, oh, I can't wait till I get to heaven. I can eat whatever I want to and I won't care how I look. God's like, why you don't, you know, you can live in that freedom here. Wow. You know, he can't die or be resurrected any more than he has. He's already done the work. Like he said, it's finished. My job is to walk into it. That's so good. Walk into it for myself and then, man, spread it. Because that's why I'm like, God, you have filled me up so much with this. Sometimes it gets overwhelming and I'm like, give me an outlet to share this. And so he asked me years ago, will you be faithful to the ones and twos that I bring into your life? And I said, absolutely. So anytime he brings a woman into my life. And a lot of times when they find out, they're like, their first question is, guess what? They're like, well, what did you eat? What did you do? What kind of exercise did you do? And a lot of times these women, you know, are like me in their, you know, 40s and 50s. And I said, do you know how to diet and exercise? Oh, my gosh. Yes. My whole life. I said, well, then I'm not going to share with you specifically what I did for diet and exercise. Wow. Because if you already know how to diet and exercise, it's not a lack of knowledge. It's a lack of application. Wow. And I said, there's something in your life that maybe God wants to heal. And I said, because that's what he had to do with me. I said, so take that before the Lord and ask him. Well, is there anything else you'd like to share with our viewers who might be struggling with identity issues or food? I just a little bit what we talked about I guess just you know I have women come to me or have people come to me and just want to talk to me specifically about my diet and exercise and what I did and really for me at the root of my issue was a deeper hurt that had come into my life as a child and I wasn't you know food was a substance that I was using and so I had to get to the root cause of what I was really eating over And so I just I want to encourage anyone, whatever it is, whether it's, you know, money, you know, sex, drugs, alcohol, food, everything, anything that we're turning to other than the Lord and his word to just bring that into the healing light of God. And I don't know, I guess I pray that this might be a weird prayer that like. I pray that you, just like my experience and what the Lord did for me, like you will be driven to pray those prayers of conviction and to invite the Lord in and to heal that because he's so ready to do that and he's already died for us to have that. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story today. I'm sure it encouraged a lot of people. Thanks for having me. And thank you so much for listening to iRefresh podcast. We can connect with you on iRefresh.net or you can follow us on Facebook or Instagram. Until next time, go change your world.